FROM THE BRYTESTAR FILES: ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

[Brytestar]

Jake walks onto the athletic area of Eastern Michigan University. He is seen wearing a EMU shirt and shorts complete with white socks and shoes. The place he is going to is Rynearson Stadium. At the entrance to the field itself he sees a human sized crate with his name on it.

JAKE: Ah here we go the drop point. <He looks at the camera> Its been awhile since the last file when I was out in some township feeling all bummed out. As I recalled Buffybot made a return appearance and was going to get me some exclusive interview. But it seem her com circuits must be out of whack and my sources indicate that Buffybot trashed Warren Mearwimp's house and gave him max pain.

<Jake places his thumb on the specialized lock. The indicator went from red to green allowing his access to the contents inside.>

JAKE: As for Donny Hump I think he got along with Marla Maplewimp 80. Hopefully he can keep it together in more ways than one. <laughs> All that aside I'm here to pickup my new companion, bodyguard, right hand woman and lover. Now I know what you are thinking. Hey what happened to the others like April and the one you picked in Willow Bay? Simple they are at my home base undergoing extensive training. Besides I needed a new powerdoll to take care of a few things.

<The crate make its errie hissing sound that nearly cause our superhero to jump out of his skin. In cased in what looks like clear jello is a woman about 6 feet tall with blond bobbed hair with medium bangs. Her eyes are a glazed emerald green her complexion is fair. She as a green spandex top that made full use of her volumptous body and green spandex shorts that enhanced her lower body.>

JAKE: I told them the EMU cheerleader outfit! <sighs> She still looks good.

<Pressing another button the jello encasement melts and floating next to his acquisition is a disk and a remote. He then pulls summons his modified Ipad and inserts the mini disk. Jake rolls back his eyes at the inferior quality disk after 10 measly minutes everything is set up>

JAKE: Man this is taking too long..here we go. <He rolls back his eyes> All the data is on the pad. <He infuses the remote into his hand to prevent it into going into the wrong hands.> Time to wake up sleeping beauty.

<With that he gives his latest powerdoll a big long kiss. Her eyes slowly come to life and her systems powerup. Jake steps back and smiles>

POWERDOLL: Init Systems reboot complete...Jake Brytestar is my master and I shall love, serve and protect him forever. What is my name master?

JAKE: Alicia.

POWERDOLL ALICIA: I am Alicia....I am programmed to love, serve and protect Jake Brytestar. Initiating full activation.....

JAKE: While you do that I'll send away the crate back to HQ. <He uses his Ipad to initiate the commands>

POWERDOLL ALICIA: Full activation completed...

<Her voice now takes on a much more human-like and sultry tone>

JAKE: Finally..

ALICIA: What are we doing here master?

JAKE: Simple honey I'm going to make a promo for EMU football. So lets get moving...

ALICIA: Yes my love.

<Once everything is set up and Alicia manning the camera the promo begins>

JAKE: This is Jake Brytestar here at Rynearson on the campus of Eastern Michigan University. With Labor Day weekend in full swing and the last big holiday before the onset of fall it's time for yet another season of college and pro football.

<Alicia throws a pass at Jake that he catches easily.>

JAKE: So whether you are a fan of the Big Ten and/or Mid American Conference or MAC. Now with that in mind...<He points the ball at the camera> Are you ready for some footballllll? Go Michigan and EMU!

<The promo ends and Alicia summons a minicarrier jet to take the camera and gear back to base.>

ALICIA: That was perfect my master. Now shall we go?

<However before Jake was able to answer a group of women with green hair walk in their direction they are wearing the EMU green revealing cheerleader unis however their eyes are blank.>

CHEERFORCE OF DOOM: Must destory Jake Brytestar...You can't resist us Jake...

<What will happen next? Find Out!>

[minkwheel]

IT'S BUFFYBOT--THE REALLY REAL ONE, NO DIMESTORE PHONY FOR SURE>>>>>>> CHEERLEADERS?!!? CRIPES! --I'VE HAD IT UP TO MY SILICON ASS with them dealing with DUMBASS all of these years! -- Actually Jake...I DID do an interview for you with WONDER WOMAN a little while ago called 'YOU'RE A WONDER" ....I can always do ANOTHER, hopefully you are in better spirits. -----Why am I being so NICE? --IT'S LABOR DAY WEEKEND, AND I'M DOING NOTHING BUT SWINGIN' IN A HAMMOCK and watching chubby children trudge off to school to make themselves ready for all of the non jobs out there. Texting their buds things like 'OMG! - I GT NO JB + NO MNY 2 PY 4 THS TXT! --LOL...... sadness...really. Well, hey... I'm rich, so I can just point and let out a gleeful titter........if I so choose to do so. Kneel and kiss my rings, you little rugrats...... and DON'T TRUDGE THROUGH MY LAWN WHEN YOU WALK TO SCHOOL--little BASTAGES!!

[Brytestar]

JAKE: I can't wait to see it Buffenator but as you can see there is a slight delay.

<However they get close to Buffybot>

CHEERFORCE OF DOOM: Must shutdown Buffybot....

JAKE: Uh....

ALICIA: What's wrong master?

JAKE: You don't want to know....

<Alicia processes the data while they close in on Buffybot>

[minkwheel]

...SO IT GOES... Cheerleaders with wires and gears in their young plastic rears were CLOSING IN on Buffybot... and you all know how much she likes her SPACE? -- IF NOT... WELL, YOU'LL FIND OUT SOON IF YOU READ JUST A FEW MORE LINES DOWN THIS PAGE.... As if....

BUFFYBOT--WHO LIKES HER SPACE VERY MUCH, I ASSURE YOU>>> JESUS CHRYSLER!!! -- A WHOLE TEAM OF DUMBASSES!!! -- standing around me, with stupid blank smiles.... I mean LOOK AT ALLy'ALL!!!

CHEERFORCE, OF COURSE...JUST ASK THE SOURCE>>>>

BUFFYBOT SURROUNDED, AND HOUNDED>>>> BACK IT UP CHIPPIES ... I AM TOLD THAT I LIKE MY SPACE VERY MUCH....

CHEERFORCE>>>

BUFFYBOT>>>OKAY.... I JUST MIGHT HAVE TO KICK YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSES....

CHEERFORCE>>>

BUFFYBOT>>>........DO YOU UNNNNNDERRRRRRSTAAAAAAAAND ME? Okay...I guess I have to speak to you in a RHYMING CHEER.... TWO FOUR SIX EIGHT---I'M GONNA KICK YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSES!!!

CHEERFORCE>>> OH...THAT SURELY DOES NOT RHYME! EPIC FAIL for YOU!

BUFFYBOT, READY FOR SOME HIGH KICKING ACTION...GET YOUR CAMERAS READY... YOU MAY SEE SOMETHING YOU CAN SCHLEP OFF TO THE STAR MAGAZINE....

BUFFYBOT>>>RIGHT BACK ATCHA CHEERLOSERS!!!

AWWWW!--look at her GO!!! --HERE ARE SOME SOUND EFFECTS TO MATCH THE DAMAGE DONE.... PUNT! WHUFF WHUFF!! PUNCHITY PUNCH! CHUFF CHUFF ENOUGH!.......... STEAMING PILE OF CHEERLEADERS OVER THERE.... just LOOK at the bubbling puddle of blonde........ my my!!!

BUBBLING PUDDLE OF BLONDE>>>>Moooooooo!

JAKE BRYTESTAR>>>>> It's COOL that you showed up Buffybot.... but you pureed the STUNT DOUBLES and not the really real CHEERFORCE... they're over THERE at the CRAFT SERVICES TABLE scarfing on free food! --you know TEENAGERS-------

ROBOTMAN

JAKE BRYTESTAR>>>>>>i iiiiiIIII MEAN 18 YEAR OLD CHEERLEADERS FOR CLARIFICATION.........

ROBOTMAN>>>> CARRY ON!

BUFFYBOT>>>>OH CRAP!! --well, at least I didn't ruin your plans for your story, DID I? ----HEY BITCHES SAVE ME SOME OF THOSE DONUTS!!!-- BACK AWAY FROM THE HOT WINGS.... THOSE BADBOYS ARE MINE!!!! I'M OUTTA HERE!

JAKE BRYTESTAR>>>> MAY WE GET BACK ON TRACK WITH THE STORY NOW? --YES WE SHALL.....WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE SCOOP UP THE STAND IN CHEERFORCE OFF OF THE STAGE FOR ME? I HAVE TO GET THIS STORY RUNNING.....

ROBOTMAN>>>>>ALLOW ME!!!! ---Have I told you ladies about my COMIC...MY OTHER COMIC...MY MOVIE....MY OTHER MOVIE?

STEAMING PUDDLE OF BLONDE CHEERLEADER EXTRAS>>>>> Moooooo!

[minkwheel]

Before Jake corrects me in saying that the CHEERFORCE OF DOOM has GREEN HAIR collectively on their heads... let me remind you that GIRLS OF ANY KIND love to COLOR THEIR HAIR for self esteem....and to match outfits or mood.... so they are REALLY BLONDES ... but DYED their hair green ... THERE YOU GO.... covered THAT one.

[Brytestar]

JAKE: Well that that certainly cheered me up a bit. Alicia...

ALICIA: Yes master.

JAKE: I think I can use the parts. Can you teleport them back to base?

ALICIA: Understood my love.

<While the Cheerforce of Doom or their mooing remains have been spirited away Jake sighs again.>

JAKE: Oh and Alicia make sure their hair is a darkened green. The tacky lime didn't match up.

ALICIA: Yes master.

JAKE: Well until later tonite for the home opener I'll munch on the donuts and Buffybot will tell me her scoop. Oh Buffenator....

[minkwheel]

BUFFYBOT WITH A HUGE HONKIN' PLATE OF BUFFALO WINGS IN HER HANDS >>>>>>>> Some guy calls me 'BUFFENATOR" and he's STILL STANDING RIGHT NOW? -- WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

jAKE BRYTESTAR>>>>BUFFYBOT---I'M STILL WAITING FOR A SCOOP OF NEWS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO RELAY TO ME....

BUFFYBOT, STILL HOLDING THE HONKIN' BIG PLATE OF HOT WINGS>>>> YOU WANNA SCOOP? --I'LL GIVE YOU A SCOOP!

Buffybot scoops uup several pieces of HOT WINGS, MAKING THE HONKIN' BIG PLATE OF WINGS NOT SO 'HONKIN' " ....and shoves them in her mouth THEN BEGINS TO TALK......

BUFFYBOT FULL OF HOT WINGS .>>>>>> MMMFFFF BUFFFOOOFFERROO GUH-FOOFAFEFFAH MUFFERFUKKHAH!!!! (gulp!) THERE! --YA GOT YOUR SCOOP! -- HAPPY? --YOU MADE ME EAT THOSE WINGS BONES AND ALL, YOU BASTID!! I'M OUTTA HERE! ---AND I'M TAKING MORE WINGS! --WHERE ARE THE STINKIN' CHEESE FRIES?? CRIPES!

JAKE BRYTESTAR>>>>ALICIA.... YOU HEARD WHAT BUFFYBOT SAID ... could you please TRANSLATE THAT FOR ME? -- I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND HER AT ALL......

LOVELY ALICIA>>>>>YES, MASTER! -----Lovely Alicia blinks twice.... analyzes the words muffled from Buffybot, and......... the ANSWER.....

LOVELY ALICIA>>> DALE COBA and DONALD HUMP HAVE RESURFACED and BOUGHT UP CHEAP LAND IN CALIFORNIA--- EASY TO DO WHEN THE GOVERNATOR NEEDS MONEY---THEY PLAN TO CREATE A ROBOTOPIA ONCE AGAIN, CALLED DELOS ANGELES.....HOLY COW!! ---Either that, or she said "JUSTIN BIEBER SUCKS ASS and you're a M*THERF**KER ...

JAKE BRYTESTAR>>>JUSTIN BEIBER DOES suck MUCHO ASS.... so I believe BUFFYBOT was telling the truth......

LOVELY ALICIA>>>>AREN'T YOU GOING TO GET MAD AT BUFFYBOT FOR CALLING YOU A SWEAR WITH SOME STARS IN IT?

JAKE BRYTESTAR>>>>NAH! -- I'LL GET MY REVENGE IN TWO HOURS AFTER SHE EATS ALL OF THOSE HOT WINGS...... they're the GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING" --as it were..... LET'S GET BACK TO THE STORY, SHALL WE, ALICIA?

LOVELY ALICIA>>>>YES, MASTER!

[Brytestar]

OOC: Blast my latest post didn't make it. Blast the wifi!

JAKE: I got the revenge besides the hotwings of course. Youre going to play a role.

<Alicia notices Buffybot's condition and connects to her systems for some extensive reprogramming. After adding the famous love, serve and protect Jake forever which is a requirement for programming all gynoids. She then can take out her aggressiveness on the bad guys like Carl and Jake's other aversaries.>

ALICIA: She is yours forever. You should marry her as well.

JAKE: Um...I'll marry you instead she can play the mistress part.

BUFFYBOT: Uhh...

JAKE: I told ya about the wings hun.

BUFFYBOT: Yes...m..my love.

JAKE: That's ok Alicia will fix up and and if your good I'll let you trash the visiting team bus!

BUFFYBOT: Whatever...

JAKE&ALICIA: Buff!

BUFFYBOT: OK...youre no fun.

JAKE: I'm fun to be with blame your programming on Spike there who wanted you for himself.

<Buffybot snarls>

JAKE: Save it for after the game hun. Now lets go to the suite. Buffybot now wears the same outift as Alicia.

<He takes them to the suite as they watch a close game between EMU and Army>

[minkwheel]

BUFFYBOT--THE REALLY REAL ONE, NO DOLLAR STORE LEAD PAINTED PHONY>>>>>>> OKAY.... for those of you who were surprised by my willingness to do Jake's story.....I DIDN'T SELL OUT... let me remind all of you yokels that I AM AN.......ACTRESS!!! ---AND I LOVE NOTHING BUT MONEY....... Now I'm going to repeat that for those of you on DRUGS .....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEESSSSSSSS

MMMMMMMMOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

GET IT? GOT IT? GOOD! -- Here's a dog biscuit for y'all...

I'M a DAMN GOOD ACTRESS, because even I pull off this gawdawful GREEN REOTARD....sorry LEOTARD that Jake is forcing me to wear ... for the record... Jake is not my master.... I AM MY OWN MASTER, and QUEEN of all I survey! --that being said, THE QUEEN NEEDS A NEW BIGASS HDTV ... and so............................on with the show.

[Brytestar]

<Jake grins as he looks at the camera>

JAKE: Hmmm....its almost halftime and those wings are still talking. Alicia I thought that you purge the negative files.

ALICIA: I thought I did I'll do a second rinse thru during halftime.

JAKE: Good to know oh and Buffy-poo you love me too and the money were gonna get for the upcoming movie deal that your last agent messed you up on.

LLLLLOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE!

ALICIA: Yes Master love is vital.

JAKE: <He now has Alicia and Buffybot on his lap watching the second half of the game.> Now this is awesome. The game could be a bit better I'll have Buffybot beat up the Army cheerleaders for kicks.

BUFFYBOT: Finally SOMEONE TO SMASH!

JAKE: End of the game my scruptous Buffenator.

[Brytestar]

<The game was a close one however as out heroes make their way to the field it is discovered the that the evil CARL has replaced the normal cheerleaders for Army into more droids of darkness>

EVIL CHEERDOLL: Must destory...destory...

JAKE: Oh brother I thought you dismantled them Buffypoo

BUFFYBOT: Scanning....new and improved model.

JAKE: ALICIA, BUFFYBOT its time to slice and dice I want the blonds intact destory the others.

ALICIA/BUFFYBOT: Yes Master...

<As our heroes go into Power Ranger Beta mode they make quick work of CARLs deathdolls. ALICIA then dials up the pickup crew to add the blondie cheerdolls to JAKE ultimate collection>

JAKE: Gee that was fast. Well folk that's all the time for this file join ALICIA and maybe BUFFYBOT along with yours truly for another edition of..

JAKE/ALICIA/BUFFYBOT: FROM THE BRYTESTAR FILES!

[minkwheel]

BUFFYBOT--THE REALLY REAL ONE, really>>>> Hi Kids.... now that our quick adventure is over, and Jake's check has cleared ... I have a little time to remind everyone that I AM AN AAAAAAACTRESS.... and I was PLAYING A PART!!! -- A fembot's GOTTA EAT... well... SOME OF US DO..... and those HOT WINGS at the CRAP SERVICES TABLE are all gone... I need SOME GOOD OLD AMERICAN ARTERY CLOGGIN' FOOD FOR MY NOGGIN. -----ummm...so I can ACT.

LOVELY ALICIA>>>>I quite LIKE Shakespeare...

BUFFYBOT>>>So when we were in POWER RANGER MODIE there, we should've been more Shakespearian ....a POWER RANGRE..... I'M THE KICKASS PINK ONE...WORKIN' THE SKIRT.

ZORDON CHIMES IN FOR NO REAL REASON EXCEPT FOR BUFFYBOT TO GET A JOKE OUT>>>>> ALICIA AND BUFFYBOT.... YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELVES WORTHY OF JOINING THE ORIGINAL RANGERS IN A NEVER ENDING SYNDICATED BATTLE OVER EVIL..... or at least for 26 episodes a season......PREPARE TO TELEPORT AND JOIN US....

BUFFYBOT IN PINK....NOW WITH THE HELMET---well...a girl's gotta ACCESSORIZE, DOESN'T SHE? -- >>>>>>>Buddy... the only way I'd join up with you and kids is if I can FINALLY KICK THE TIN BALL BERRINGS OF THAT ANNOYING "ALPHA" ....God! --HE CHAPS MY ASS! ---YOU GOT ALL THAT, HARDON?

ZORDON>>>> .....IT'S ZORDON...THE NAME'S "ZORDON"

BUFFYBOT>>>>Sorry Moron...slip of the tongue...

LOVELY ALICIA>>>>I am SORRY, Zordon....my only master is JAKE.

JAKE BRYTESTAR in another room.....probably watching Detroit play.....
>>>>>>>>>>>>> THAT'S RIGHT!! DAMN SKIPPY! -- that's my girl! GOOOOOOOO MICHIGAN!!!!!!!!!!

BUFFYBOT>>>DAMN!--I'M GOOD! --if I can impress a chubby space spirit like NYLON there, I can surely act with the best of them.... MY ACTING IS SO RICH, AND THICK, that I can describe it as CHOCOLATE SHAKESPEARE! --YO!

LOVELY ALICIA>>>>>>>>>..........OH...WE ARE SOOOOOOOO DONE HERE.