Getting a feel of the target audience

[Asagao]

So, I've started a story line, and have bits and pieces written here and there, but I wanted to get a feel of the crowd here. There's sadly no sex in this first instance, but there is some forthcoming. So, I ask you, my fellow ASFR friends to tell me what you think of this tiny glimpse of my ideas and to give feedback as to what you enjoy in a story. Thanks!

* commence program replay *

She watched him, watch her.

Sometimes, picking up the morning paper, she would wave to him. Sometimes she would take out the garbage and he'd be walking his dog. She always timed it so that she would get to say hi to him. But not every day. She made it look happenstance.

She wasn't sure what it was about the shy, laughing man across the street that caused her to do these things.

She had never violated such protocols before. This was her fourth (and possibly final) owner. Many of the others in her unit had already been pieced out and dismantled. It was somewhat a fluke that this new owner purchased her at all, but she knew it was an under the table deal.

***

"You were perfect Brianna. I could not have wished for a better companion for my husband. You made things so much easier after the divorce."

Brianna smiled at the woman in front of her. Bri was already processing her shutdown sequence. These were words she was trained to understand the hidden meaning of. "It was my honor, and the great pleasure of SyCa Corp to be there for your needs. Was there any further assistance you may need of us?"

<b>shutdown 50% complete. awaiting response for memory drive formatting to process.</b>

"I don't think so, the house is in impeccable order, everything is packed and ready for sale, we just need to take you back. I was advised you would be able to communicate where you are to be dropped off."

<b>response accepted. reformatting memory drives. retrieving return data.</b>

Brianna kept her smile on her face as she acknowledged and reiterated where her drop off location would be. "It is not far from here, would you prefer I escort myself and have the receipt of return mailed to the forwarding address on file, or would you prefer to return me in person, Ms. Harold?"

"A forward is fine, Brianna. Thank you again. You are dismissed, please proceed to drop-off."

<b>communication sent. initiating return sequence. memory reformatting complete.</b>

Brianna turned one last time to the woman, now unknown to her, that was standing in front of her with the same smile the conversation started with. "Thank you for using SyCa Corporation. You will be mailed an acknowledgment of return and a final bill. We look forward to serving you again." she said blankly as she curtsied and walked towards and out the door.

With only her destination in mind, Brianna surveyed the world around her. She was glad to be out of the service of the Harold's, but wasn't sure why. She would have stopped and enjoyed the spring gardens of the townhouses she walked past, but knew that any delay in reaching drop off would not be tolerated. She contented herself with plucking flowers here and there as she went by, and smiling at passersby. SyCa Corp always encouraged a more human and friendly interface with even non-clients. This strategy had certainly increased business, as more and more of her counterparts were sold based on their "friendliness" and lack of a "cold exterior." The articles that followed the change had been committed to their long-term banks, so that even between assignments, each unit would promote the company agenda.

Arriving at drop off, she was met by a new recruit in the office.

"Hello Brianna, you're early! We expected you to take a longer walk."

"My apologies, <b>searching new hires and placement updates...</b> Keith, I was unaware of an extra time allowance. I believe I am behind on my updates."

"Yeah, I think you are too. Old Man Harold wasn't big on bringing you in. I think he was a bit afraid of what we'd find. Let's bring you back and get you started."

"Thanks Keith. <b>internal system check complete. Ready for update.</b>





*. Program termination. Awaiting user feedback. *

[TheSpotConlon]

I can only speak for myself, but I could read a whole heck lot more of this story. The idea of reformatting while saying goodbye is excellent; that's a section I would love to see expanded.

Basically, welcome! And get to work giving us more.

[33cl33]

This has a nice, original feel to it... I can't suggest anything other than to keep going!

[DollSpace]

I can only speak for myself, but I could read a whole heck lot more of this story. The idea of reformatting while saying goodbye is excellent; that's a section I would love to see expanded.

Basically, welcome! And get to work giving us more.

I agree totally with this, and welcome from me, too. And, like 33cl33, I think it has a nice original feeling to it, too. I can't wait to read more.