Fembots and loneliness

[Muchacho]

Hey guys, I hope you all are doing well...

This year I will be 30 so I decided to create this post to get some advice and maybe some anecdotes from you.

I must confess I have been alone my entire life in terms of love and relationships due to my low self-esteem, and my fears and insecurities about women after witnessing bad experiences from some of my relatives.

I have been trying to change those aspects by doing physical activity and soon I will undergo orthodontic treatment to improve my looks a little bit.

The thing is that I want to ask someone on a date and I can't stop thinking about what would happen if I actually manage to be in a relationship. I keep thinking about the fact that my fetish can create conflicts between us and even more the fact that I like to create content of this nature (my YouTube channel).

My questions are:

Have you had to deal with rejection because of this?
How have you discussed this kind of things with your partners?
For those who collect fembot related media such as videos or pics, do you hide it from your partner?

For a long time I did not feel the need to have a relationship but I have been feeling incredibly lonely lately and I really would like to change that.

I really hope I don't get too personal with my questions. Anyway, thank you all for your time and responses. They are greatly appreciated.

[33cl33]

So, I never told anyone IRL about this until around age 28 or so. I've always been one of the shyest people in school / work / whatever social circles I'm in, and I was always too uncomfortable to discuss it since I grew up around, and have often been surrounded by, pretty religious and sexually-repressed folks (at least they are in public). I always thought it would be ridiculed or thought to be creepy.

But I've since told my last three partners about this fetish, including my current spouse of 15 years.

With the first girlfriend I explained it to, it was sort of a "tell me your fetish and I'll tell you mine" conversation. And it was only after a couple months, once we'd already made it to an intimate / sexual stage. It just kind of came up one night watching tv. I can't even remember which one of us brought it up now. I went first, and she just found it interesting. No major reaction. Thought about it for a second, and just said "huh!" like she had never considered it a possible fetish. Then she said, "So, when we watch Sarah Connor Chronicles...?" I just said "YEP!" Then she started listing off things like Buffybot and anime (she was a big anime fan) that featured robots, and I just nodded and laughed at each one, saying I was already quite familiar with all of 'em

The next girlfriend I told about it was pretty fascinated by it. Asked all sorts of questions, I shared some manips I'd made back then, and a compilation video I put together of my favorite fembots in tv and film. And though I've never really been into roleplay, and never asked for it, she pretended to be a bot a few times. Said she was really into the idea of being a robot (but I think that she was really just trying to do something nice for me). She even wrote me a fantastic story with herself as a bot just for me. It would've been pretty popular if posted here Years later, we're still friends, and an occasional casual mention of sex robots in the news gets a cute chuckle.

And then there's my spouse... I can't quite remember when I told her, but it must've been pretty early on. And she didn't react in any dramatic way. She writes LOADS of fanfic, so she's no stranger to kinks and niche fetishes. I haven't shared a ton of my creations with her directly, but she's also super embarrassed for me to read her fanfic smut But I always make it clear I support it and I don't go digging too hard, even though I know her AO3 profile. Basically, we don't actively hide anything. But neither of us is into role play, so it's not something we explore much together. Our fetishes are like our music tastes, surprisingly little overlap for how well we mesh otherwise

One thing that makes it easier to talk about these days than, say, a decade or more ago, is that there's this boom in mainstream depictions of sex robots. Even if it's mostly dystopian horror / scifi, it's something other than porn that you can point to. My partner and I watched that "Accused" episode together, and out of nowhere when it was over, she turned to me and said, "Well, if the question is, can we get a sex robot... The answer is yes. I would absolutely be down for a threesome with a fembot." We're both bi (or pan or whatever - we're attracted to just about everyone), and are on the same page that it would be a great way to have some fun without the emotional baggage and litany of potential other issues around bringing a third real person into the relationship.

She's also totally in support of me creating fetish erotica and content for a living. So game on.

All that to say - don't hold back if you meet someone and they make you feel supported and safe. I felt a huge weight off my shoulders in each of those three situations. Being shy and lonely can make it feel like a massive undertaking to approach someone. But people generally want connection even if they don't think they do, and are generally way more approachable in person than social media, mass media, culture wars, and internet comment threads will lead you to believe.


And on a side note - I've also worked on and off as a photographer over the years, and I've done some artistic nude sessions. Building up the courage to do THAT with strangers was way harder than talking about this to girlfriends. And some of the otherwise very publicly vanilla women I'm friends with have turned out to be the biggest & most vocal fans of my spicy work. You'll never know what people will think until you put it out there.

[tinyspider]

From my experience, the healthiest thing you can do is openly talk about your preferences and fetishes with your significant other. When I got engaged, my partner back then came from a super conservative family, and when I tried to express my fantasies, her reaction was close to horrified, so I opted not to bring up that subject anymore. This brought a lot of frustration later in life, and that relationship ended in divorce. After several therapy sessions, I realized that if something is important for me, then it must be discussed, so I brought it up with my partners since then. As a rule of thumb most people have fantasies one way or another, but how they react to your particular kink depends on how you approach it, and their own conceptions. I've been lucky enough to have roleplayed fantasy scenarios with partners (even casual ones) given that I became pretty open about what I like. I've been rejected a few times, but you have to keep a mentality of not being excessively worried about it; it's not the end of the world and everyone's entitled to their own preferences. I have a curated collection of videos I've shown to my partners so they understand better and it definitely helps.

As for personal advice, being physically attractive helps, of course, but to find a partner you need to be confident and work on being an interesting person by finding things to do that you like, besides consuming digital media: Sports, music, theater, writing, whatever it is, find something fulfilling and engage with it; it will help you gain confidence and have energy to attract like-minded people.

One last piece of advice: Learn how to bring sex topics at the appropriate times. I can't tell you exactly when that is, but it implies learning to "read the room".

[dubhdanaidh]

I can honestly say I've never experienced rejection because of my fetish. At worst I've told someone and they weren't interested.

That includes my current partner of over a decade. She doesn't care, expect not being too thrilled about me spending so much money on custom content. That being said I always pay the bills and save money, so its more a combination of not understanding what the appeal combined with a sense that I'm getting scammed and could spend my money on other things. It doesn't help that whenever I have run into a content creator who takes forever I complain to her about it and/or bluntly state that I think I got scammed. That being said, I am honestly hopeful that the new film Companion might interest her.

I've also told friends and family members in the past. I'm older, so I'm not sure if my parents understand what a fetish is, by they certainly have known for years. This fetish wasn't something I stumbled into one day. If anything finding Gynoid Gallery was a revelation that I wasn't the only one.

As for hiding content, it depends on what you mean by "hiding." Regular content is regular content. Most nights we sit on the couch hanging out and my DVDs of My Living Doll are on the shelf with every other DVD and BluRay. As for porn, I don't leave it out or anything like that. Like I said my current partner doesn't really care. She knows I buy content, she knows I buy customs, and as far as I know it is a non-issue.

When we first got together she caught my jerking off one night and just told me don't hide it and don't try to form any real romantic relationship with a porn star. It helps that she isn't the jealous type, doesn't think watching porn is cheating, and knows she always comes first. It probably helps that I travel a lot for work, so she'd rather I jerk off in my hotel than get my rocks off at a bar or strip club.

Edit:

I just wanted to add that it is funny because the only time I've been shamed rejected for my fetish is when trying to order from certain content creators, which is funny because given the state of OnlyFans I've had most of them start asking for my money in the last year. It is almost as sad as when creators on sites like OnlyFans, LoyalFans, or ManyVids try to "start" a relationship. Remember everyone the strippers don't actually love you.

[Muchacho]

My dudes, thank you so much for writing your anecdotes here. Trying to find the right partner is certainly quite a journey. I think something that can add some difficulty to it may be the fact that I was born and live in a Latin-American country. Many women here tend to be a bit more conservative and not very open-minded in those aspects compared to those who live in first world countries. However, the important thing is not to give up and keep searching. If anything comes up or anything worth mentioning happens, I'll let you know here. I really appreciate any feedback you can give me.

[ProchazkaJBG]

Not sure why family or really even friends would need to know my (or anyone's) sexual interests... lol


I was in a long-term relationship, so she obviously knew about this lol, but wasn't into it herself so I never really ever brought it up... maybe like 5 or 6 times over a 12-year span. She didn't really get it at first, but never was hostile, dismissive, or anything like that [the only time she was is when she knew I had been watching robot porn lol... she did NOT like that]. Just indifferent really. I told a couple of other GF's and they basically had the same reaction. Not like enthusiastic or anything, but not negative.

[33cl33]

...This fetish wasn't something I stumbled into one day. If anything finding Gynoid Gallery was a revelation that I wasn't the only one.

This is my situation too. For me, puberty literally switched on the moment I saw a depiction of a damaged fembot reveal on tv. And I realize now I always had a strong reaction to all depictions of robots prior. I couldn't NOT find fembots sexy if I tried. This was the very early 90's, so I had no idea I wasn't a lone weirdo until I got access to my first 14.4kbps dial-up ISP and bumbled my way into the original alt.sex.fetish.robots usenet group, then Female Android Cornucopia, Gynoid Gallery, and, well, the rest is horny history

[dubhdanaidh]

And what a day that was. We got the internet for the first time at home and I stumbled across Gynoid Gallery. So many hours loading images and playing with media players. I was thinking about the day I spent trying to get Electric Barbarella playing with RealPlayer.

Prior to the internet it was just me drawing fembots, usually with some sort of visual aid. Sadly for a variety of reasons I destroyed most of my drawings and still do. I'm not a good artist in the traditional sense.