LIVEWIRE WITH BUFFYBOT: LEGENDS OF THE FAIL

[minkwheel]

BUFFYBOT, THE REALLY REAL ONE>>>>> Hel-lo....I'M BUFFYBOT--Yes, that is ME...and I-----

(Cameos courtesy of THE CAMEO CORPORATION)
DALE COBA>>>>>>>>>> SWEET JEEBUS CHRYSLER CORDOBA! --MUST WE SUFFER THROUGH THESE ANCIENT POSTS?!!?

BUFFYBOT INTERRUPTED>>>>>>>>No Mr. Coba.... this is a NEW post... I assure you, really for real new.

DALE IN DISBELIEF>>>>>> Could've fooled ME...THESE STORIES ARE ALL THE SAME, WITH NOTHING NEW TO BRING TO THE TABLE! --I MEAN REALLLLY!

BUFFYBOT'S SORTA MAYBE KINDA PISSED RIGHT NOW KINDA>>>>>>>Minions....BRING MR. COBA TO THE TABLE....we'll fix these interruptions in POST..........okay.....NOW AFFIX MR. COBA TO THAT POST and WHEEL HIM OUT OF HERE...I HAVE A SHOW TO DO.

Unnamed fembot minions wheel Dale away to end his cameo....

SCENE STEALER DALE>>>>>>>>GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME.....or at least put them lower.........lower still.....ah, YES!... NO NEED FOR HANDCUFFS...I'm not going anywhere for the moment.... neither is this story......

BUFFYBOT, BACK ON HER MARK>>>>>>>STICK A FORK IN HER...SHE'S DONE! --I'M of COURSE talking about Orca Winfrey, Queen of the talk show hosts...and that means there's a place for a NEW talk show queen to take her place. That's going to be ME, FOLKS...... so welcome to my pilot show for syndication.....and BOY! --DO WE HAVE A GREAT GUEST FOR THIS EPISODE! --------PLEASE WELCOME, ALL THE WAY FROM CYBERTRON.....OPTIMUS friggin' PRIIIIIIIIME!!!

OPTIMUS friggin' PRIME in the HOUSE.....it's pretty crowded in Buffybot's house now.... Optimus is one huge MoFo >>>> HELLO CITIZEN BUFFYBOT......I AM GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE.

BUFFYBOT GOES FOR RATINGS GOLD>>>>>>> CUT THE CRAP OPTIMUS.... NICEY NICE doesn't keep JOE MEATBALL in the Midwest's GLUTEUS glued to his chair WATCHING MY SHOW...... DIRTY POOL DOES.... do you recognize the little BABY in this PICTURE??????

There's a picture of SCOOTER from THE GOBOTS on the screen, for CHRISSAKES!

OPTIMUS PRIME>>>>>>>THAT'S SCOOTER from THE GOBOTS on the screen, for CHRISSAKES! ----THAT' AIN'T MY KID! --I DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS!!!

BUFFYBOT>>>>>Is that SO? --WELL.... WE HAVE TWO GUESTS BACKSTAGE WHO SAY THAT SCOOTER IS your SON..... come on OUT ladies!!!! ----------I can just SMELL the RATINGSSSSSS!!!!

....WELL... LOOKIE HERE....out come ARCEE, and the robot hacktress MEGAN FOX....surprised? --me neither.... aaanyway...

OPTIMUS FOR SOME REASON IS SPEAKING "STREETWISE" now.... this HAPPENS on these shows, it just DOES...ROLL WITH IT >>>>>>>>WHATCHOO HOOTCHIES TRYIN'TA PULL??!!? ---I AIN'T GOT NO KID...EXPECIALLY ONE AS PUNKASS WIMPY AS THAT SKEEVY SCOOTER! ---SHIT LOOKS NOTHIN' LIKE ME!!!

ARCEE>>>>>>THAT'S YOUR BOY, AND YOU KNOW IT! --YOU GOT ME DRUNK ON ALCOHOL BASED FUEL AFTER WE KICKED MEGATRON'S ASS THAT ONE TIME.....Look...I'm a KICKASS MOTORCYCLE, AND YOU'RE A TRUCK....our baby is a mix of the two..........BABY SCOOOOTER....LOOK AT THAT SWEET FACE and tell me that ain't your boy!!

PISSED OPTIMUS>>>>>>NAH BITCH!!! Y'ALL GOTTA HAVE PROOF that's my kid!

ROBOT HACKTRESS MEGAN FOX>>>>>>>>T-T-T-T-HHhhhhA-AT'S where I come in O-o-o-OPTIMUS-s-s!!! REMEMBER THESE? ---Y-yyyyy-y-yYOU LEffffffF-F-FT THEM IN MY APARTmmmmmMENT LAST WEEK!!!

SHOCKED OPTIMUS>>>>>UNDERWEAR??!! --BITCH, THOSE AIN'T MINE...I'm a TRANSFORMER....I WEAR SPEEDOS!!!

ROBOT HACKTRESS MEGAN FOX>>>>>OH, they're YOURS alright!!! ---THEY'RE SIZE 20XL -----I CAN PROVE THAT THESE ARE THE DRAAAWERS of a TRANSFORMER.......LOOK! ---SEE THE SKIDMARKS?!!?

....................folks, you have no idea how long I've wanted to write that awful joke..........

BUFFYBOT>>>>>>>>>>>AH! DNA!!!! Now I get to say what Maury Jokitch has been saying for all of his talk show career .....YOU AAAAARE the FATHER!!!!

OPTIMUS PRIME SUSPECT>>>>> JAM THIS! --I'M OUTTA HERE! --TRANSFORM AND ROLLLLL OUT!!!

BUFFYBOT>>>>YEAH, YOU TRANSFORMERS ARE ALL THE SAME!

OPTIMUS PRIME SUSPECT>>>>>WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

BUFFYBOT>>>YOU NEVER CLEAN UP YOUR MESSES....I'LL GET YOU BACK THOUGH...

OPTIMUS PRIME SUSPECT>>>>WHAT the HELL ARE YOU DOING??

BUFFYBOT STRIKES A MATCH AND SHOVES IT INTO OPTIMUS' TAILPIPE.....

BUFFYBOT>>>>>>YOU ALSO are all HIGHLY COMBUSTABLE when you all have 50 gallons of GAS in your collective ASSES .... HERE'S YOUR PARTING GIFT for BEING ON MY SHOW, you LOSER!

ffffffffFFFFFFFFFFFFWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!! OPTIMUS PRIME'S CHROME ASS IS ABLAZE in an explosion that would make MICHAEL BAY put on his RayBans.... it's FRIGGIN AWESOME SAUCE, BROTHER!!!

OPTIMUS PRIME>>>>>OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!! FRIGGIN' A! OWWWWWWWW!!!!

BUFFYBOT>>>>>>>>LET'S SEE ORCA WINFREY TOP THAT!

DALE COBA, STILL AFFIXED TO A POST......>>>>>>>is anyone THERE? -----OH.........bugger.

(Thanks for playing along, Mr. Coba......it's just a story)

[Mooninite 1]

LOL Next week, Triplechangers living Double Lives!

Fembot: I know Astrotrain's been cheating! I know most of his Decepticon "friends" have been inside him!

[minkwheel]

Well... simply put, that's why he's called ASSTROTRAIN. Honestly, I could've said that Megatron is Scooter's Daddy, because both characters were voiced by Frank Welker, but then I wouldn't have been able to set Optimus' butt aflame. I DO have priorities, people......no morals, but I DO have priorities. --minkwheel

[--NightBattery--]

they should have invited michael bay XD

[minkwheel]

Oh, MICHAEL BAY was THERE.... he was just over at the Craft Services table getting a FATTE LATTE and a stale baguette .... MISSED BY THAT MUCH... I'll have to have Buffybot AIM a bit better next time. We need a BAY FREE future, really.