AFTER A LONG and hard day of battling evil, evil BATTLES, our robotic heroes like to unwind HERE... at the little COFFEE HOUSE on the corner of DOWNTOWN LONDON....'SCONEHENGE...Look at them all...enjoying marked up and frothy beverages of various levels of caffinery ... Fellow A-men member GREENLEE works as a waitress/ hostess twinkie --or as the cheapass owner likes to call 'em....a BOTISTA ... Honestly kids, she is lovely, but not the brightest crayon in the box... let's listen in on their conversation, shall we? --otherwise this will be a very short story. Some say that's a GOOD THING....
CHARITY CASE>>>>CRIPES! --I WANT TO GET OUT OF BRITAIN...I MISS AMERICA!!!--I mean FOOTBALL SEASON STARTS SOON!! Jesus Chrysler!!!
STEPHANIEBOT>>>>WE HAVE FUTBOL here in BRITAIN....for SOME, it's a WAY OF LIFE! --It's the SINGLE MOST POPULAR SPORT IN THE WORLD, it IS.
CHARITY CASE>>>>Nah! --I mean REEEEAAAL FOOTBALL! -- You guys chase after a soft round thing, and then chase it some more, while thousands of bored fans have to entertain themselves by blowing into KAZOOS that sound like a swarm of bees......UBER GAY!!! --AMERICAN FOOTBALL HAS CHUBBY, PADDED UP MEN PILE THEMSELVES UP ON EACH OTHER AND COLLECTIVELY PAT THEMSELVES ON THE ASS EVERY TIME A TEAM MEMBER HOLDS ONTO THEIR BALL ALL THE WAY UNTIL THEY ENTER THEIR END ZONE.
STEPHANIEBOT>>>>aaaaaaand THAT doesn't sound UBER GAY to YOU?
CHARITY CASE>>>>>............shut up!
DAMMIT!--I MISS AMERICA!!!
Here comes GREENLEE.....
GREENLEE--SECRET MEMBER OF THE A-MEN, and BOTISTA>>> May I get you an appetizer to make you feel BETTER, Charity?
CHARITY CASE>>>>ANYTHING but those DAMN TWIGLETS you gave me last time....THOSE WERE REAL TWIGS with leaves and ALL... CRIPES!!! not much better tasting than the REAL THING either! ---MAKE ME SOMETHING AMERICAN....CAN'T CHA?
GREENLEE>>>>Oooh...well then..... HOW ABOUT TODAYS BLOATED AMERICAN SPECIAL? ----CHILI-CHEESE FRIES!!! I'll bring them out in a JIFFY!
CHARITY CASE>>>>>FRIGGIN' A!!! --ARE YOU KIDDING ME? --REAL FOOTBALL FOOD!!!! OOOOOOh--CHILI CHEESE FRIES! --STEAK CHIP POTATOES COVERED IN TEXAS FIVE ALARM CHILI, AND GOOEY VELVEETA YELLOW DYE NUMBER FIVE CHEESE!!! --- BRING IT ON BABY!!! YEAH!!!
GREENLEE>>>>>COMING RIGHT UP!!!
CIEPHER 5985>>>>>....it sure WOULD... if I ATE ANY OF THAT LOT!
POLITE TITTERS OF LAUGHTER ensue.....
CHARITY CASE>>>AAAHHH--JAM IT ALLoYA....you don't know what GOOD eatin' IS....
Greenlee's BACK...converted to the METRIC SYSTEM, In England, a JIFFY equals out to a few seconds.... I'm guessing.
GREENLEE WITH A BIG PLATE OF CHILI-CHEESE FRIES--I mean BIG!---BIGASS BIG!!>>>> Here you ARE! --AMERICAN CHILI-CHEESE FRIES!! YUMMY!!!
CHARITY CASE>>>BRING THAT BAD BOY OVER HERE!!! --CHARITY takes a moundful and quickly shoves it in her mouth.....
SFX KRUUNCH!!!---tinkle tinkle tinka-tinkle!!!
CHARITY CASE>>>>WHAAAD DE-FUGG!!!!!---MY PORCELIN CROWNS!!! MY TEEF ARE ALL BROKEN!!!--I'VE GOT FANGS!!!!----aaAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
GREENLEE>>>oh MY!!
CHARITY CASE WITH FANGS AND SHATTERED TEEFUS>>>> THESE FRIES ARE FROZEN SOLID YOU DUMBASS!!! ----OW! --FRIGGIN A!!!
GREENLEE>>>>>>Well...I TOLD you that they were CHILLY!
____________________________________________________________
OKAY KIDS... there's another gag to this stupid story, because I DO have to get our heroes out of the coffeehouse.... so I'll make a second quick chapter.....actually, I'm running late, so I have to stop here anyhow ...sorry------also... for those who thought I would stoop to making a joke about British dentistry here..... address all correspondence to MIKE MEYERS c/o AUSTIN POWERS, Gallefrey, England
TALES OF THE UNTOLD TALES OF THE A-MEN: Fine Young Cannibals
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minkwheel
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TALES OF THE UNTOLD TALES OF THE A-MEN: Fine Young Cannibals
...From my HEART and from my HAND
WHY don't people understand my intentions?
WHY don't people understand my intentions?
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Stephaniebot
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minkwheel
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Stephaniebot
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A little something would be fine, if you need the address again, let me know privately and I'll send it to you. But I dont expect anything from you in all honesty, I'm not one of those people who expects presents, but yes, Bills are the right team, for my pains at present. You are so sweet, too sweet really with suggestions like that
But I've seen the prices, jerseys dont count as a small something unless they are dramatically reduced at present!
If a US address is easier customs wise, I'll have one in 4 weeks time for a week or so lol! Well volcanoes permitting this time at least.
If I say Scott McKenzie, you might have a clue where lol!
But I've seen the prices, jerseys dont count as a small something unless they are dramatically reduced at present!
If a US address is easier customs wise, I'll have one in 4 weeks time for a week or so lol! Well volcanoes permitting this time at least.
If I say Scott McKenzie, you might have a clue where lol!
I'm just a 'girl' who wants to become a fembot whats wrong with that?
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minkwheel
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I know BOB AND DOUG McKENZIE a little more than SCOTT... (PROUD Canadian ROBOTMAN knows who BOB AND DOUG are...) Mentioning the VOLCANO is what tipped your location off....it rains there just about as much as it does in England, so I think you'll feel right at home. For those who still don't know where Stephanie will hang for a while... I believe the state is famous for coffee that costs 'FIVEBUCKS"
...From my HEART and from my HAND
WHY don't people understand my intentions?
WHY don't people understand my intentions?
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Stephaniebot
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You must be younger than I thought lol! Mamas and Papas dreamed about the state concerned actually. Might need some flowers in my hair.
That enough clues lol?
Actually the volcano that wrecked my previous plans was that Icelandic one that erupted in April on the Thursday, as I was flying out on the Saturday, so holiday never happened.
Do hope to get to Seattle next year again though, all things permitting
Never mind Minky, I love you all the same
That enough clues lol?
Actually the volcano that wrecked my previous plans was that Icelandic one that erupted in April on the Thursday, as I was flying out on the Saturday, so holiday never happened.
Do hope to get to Seattle next year again though, all things permitting
Never mind Minky, I love you all the same
I'm just a 'girl' who wants to become a fembot whats wrong with that?
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minkwheel
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Oh JEEPERS, Mr. Kent....! --I thought you were referring to MT ST. HELENS being a volcano on the West Coast........ okay... She's off to SAN FRAN be sure to visit the pier and say HI to the sea lions for me. San Francisco is COOL actually....walked MANY of the hilly streets... and their CHINA TOWN area is one of the CLEANEST Chinatowns I have EVER been to.... and the food is GREAT!!! I WILL STILL SEE IF I CAN FIND SOMETHING nice and proper for a Brit who wants to show FOOTBALIAN PRIDE.
...From my HEART and from my HAND
WHY don't people understand my intentions?
WHY don't people understand my intentions?
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minkwheel
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STUFF'S ON THE WAY, STEPH.....
.....AND NOW.... yet another chapter. I DID say that I wanted to get the gang out of the coffee house, so here it goes......
BACK AT A-MEN CLOUDBASE, our robotic heroes are in the secretly secret BRIEFING room.... or DEBRIEFING ROOM--I think it all means the same thing, you know... like FLAMMABLE and INFLAMMABLE -- I prefer the term FIRE RETARDANT right now, because it's sort of more fitting to the story. As IF....
There's crotchety MAJORLY MAJORS, COL. STEVE AUSTIN, leader of the A-MEN---- showing another of his old films to teach his team what to do in situations..... also maybe to relive some old glory..... OH CRIPES !!! HE'S SHOWING FOOTAGE OF THE DEATH PROBE!!! THE FRIGGIN' DEATH PROBE! --AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
CROTCHETY STEVE AUSTIN>>>>>> ALL a YOU ROBOTS FOCUS ON WHAT I'M SHOWING YOU..... THIS WAS A VERY TOUGH CHALLENGE FOR ANY HUMAN BEING TO CONQUER........BEHOLD ....THE DEATH PROBE!!!
Footage of this slow moving tanky lookin' thing with giant explosive MACES
in the front of it.... and a friggin' annoying WooWoo sound constantly coming out of it--appears on the screen..... some of our heroes are kinda LAUGHING right now.....
CROTCHETY STEVE AUSTIN>>>>>>SHUT IT!!!--SHUT IT AND FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON THIS FILM, YOU ROBOTS!!! --THIS IS THE DEATH PROBE we are talking about here.....THE DEAAAAAATH PROBE!!!! ---IT HAS TWO OF THE THINGS THAT EVERY HUMAN BEING FEARS THE MOST .................DEATH........and...PROBES!
YUGO GIRL>>>>>I DU nott FEARR dose BEEG SPYKEE VIBRATORS on EET thoe!!!---Come to MAMMA--YES!!!
CHARITY CASE>>>>>YIPEE I YOOOO!!! BRING ON THOSE BAD BOYS!!! --YEAH BABY!!!
CIEPHER 5985>>>>>> Uffff!!! ---get me OUT of here! I don't KNOW you two!
STILL CROTCHETY STEVE AUSTIN>>>>THOSE ARE NOT VIBRATORS, you SICK MONKEYS! --- THOSE ARE EXPLOSIVE MACES THAT WILL DETONATE ON THE SLIGHTEST IMPACT.....with....WHATEVER IMPACTS IT!!! ---FEAR THE DEATH PROBE!!! FEAR IT!!
CIEPHER 5985>>>>>>>>>>THAT THING TRAVELS LOW TO THE GROUND ... COULDN'T YOU JUST LEAD THE PROBE TO A BIG HILL OF DIRT SOMEWHERE, SO WHEN IT BUMPS INTO THE HILL WITH THE MACES, IT WILL BLOW ITSELF UP?
EVEN CROTCHETTIER STEVE AUSTIN>>>>>>> ..................cripes........ ................SHUT UP............why didn't I think of that? -------------FFFFFFEAR THE DEATH PROBE!!!!! LOOKIT! -- HERE'S A SCENE WHERE I TRY TO BATTLE IT'S AWESOME POWER...... I JUMP ON IT..............NOW I JUMP OFF...................I JUMP ON IT .............................I JUMP OFF....... I JUMP OOOONNNN.........I JU---
GREENLEE>>>>>>WHAT IS THAT CLAKKITY NOISE coming from that big TANK, SIR?
CROTCHETY STEVE>>>>OH.........IT'S THINKING........thinking about what awesome thing I will do next to try and attack the DEATH PROBE...........it's FEARSOME!!!
RO-BEAU>>>>>>MAY I VENTURE A GUESS that you will be JUMPING DOWN from it next?
STEVE AUSTIN, STILL CROTCHETY>>>>SHUT IT--AND STAND IN THE CORNER, CADET.....WATCH WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, BECAUSE SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE.... IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU......THE HORROR!!! THE HORROR!!!!
back to the film..... Steve is still OOOOOONNN the Death Probe (it IS to be FEARED, REALLY----the PROBE, I MEAN, NOT THE FACT THAT STEVE IS STILL ON IT...just to clear that up) --here comes the part that Steve fears the most..... wait for it..... wait for it.......
STEVE AUSTIN IN FEAR>>>>WATCH ME NOW! --I'M ON THE DEATH PROBE............
sfx of 70's computer THINKING MODE clakkityness..... still thinking....... CLAKKITY CLAKKITY CLIKKITY CLIKKITY.....the sound effect is actually only seconds long..... so I think it was looped a few times .....Damn UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SOUND LIBRARY.......anywya.... THE PROBE SEEMS TO BE DONE THINKING..... AND HERE'S WHAT STEVE FEARS....
STEVE AUSTIN>>>>>>>LOOKIT RIGHT THERE!!! -- THE PROBE HAS A GRABBY HAND THING THAT A STAGEHAND OFFSCREEN IS USING TO POKE AT MY BIONIC ARM! -- OW!!! ---FRIGGIN' A!!
some sparks, $30 effect from the studio bigshots...... THE DEATH PROBE CRUSHED STEVE AUSTIN'S BIONIC ARM!!!! YOW!!!
STEVE, ALMOST IN TEARS>>>>> OH! --THAT DAMN DEATH PROBE!!! MY ARM!!!
STEPHANIEBOT>>>>>>>OH DEAR!!!-- BUT WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET, SIR? ----
STEVE AUSTIN>>>>>JESUS CHRYSLER! -- YOU ROBOTS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HUMANS!!! THAT THING CRUSHED MY RIGHT ARM!!! I WAS SO UPSET!!!
---------I WASN'T ABLE TO MASTURBATE FOR FIVE DAYS UNTIL RUDY GOT IT FIXED!!! HUMAN ANGUISH you STUPID ROBOTS! --AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
CIEPHER 5985>>>>>>once again............I NEEEEED to get OUT of HERE
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---OH, SHE WILL..... THERE'S ONE MORE STUPID GAG I HAVE TO GET TO --'til next.
.....AND NOW.... yet another chapter. I DID say that I wanted to get the gang out of the coffee house, so here it goes......
BACK AT A-MEN CLOUDBASE, our robotic heroes are in the secretly secret BRIEFING room.... or DEBRIEFING ROOM--I think it all means the same thing, you know... like FLAMMABLE and INFLAMMABLE -- I prefer the term FIRE RETARDANT right now, because it's sort of more fitting to the story. As IF....
There's crotchety MAJORLY MAJORS, COL. STEVE AUSTIN, leader of the A-MEN---- showing another of his old films to teach his team what to do in situations..... also maybe to relive some old glory..... OH CRIPES !!! HE'S SHOWING FOOTAGE OF THE DEATH PROBE!!! THE FRIGGIN' DEATH PROBE! --AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
CROTCHETY STEVE AUSTIN>>>>>> ALL a YOU ROBOTS FOCUS ON WHAT I'M SHOWING YOU..... THIS WAS A VERY TOUGH CHALLENGE FOR ANY HUMAN BEING TO CONQUER........BEHOLD ....THE DEATH PROBE!!!
Footage of this slow moving tanky lookin' thing with giant explosive MACES
in the front of it.... and a friggin' annoying WooWoo sound constantly coming out of it--appears on the screen..... some of our heroes are kinda LAUGHING right now.....
CROTCHETY STEVE AUSTIN>>>>>>SHUT IT!!!--SHUT IT AND FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON THIS FILM, YOU ROBOTS!!! --THIS IS THE DEATH PROBE we are talking about here.....THE DEAAAAAATH PROBE!!!! ---IT HAS TWO OF THE THINGS THAT EVERY HUMAN BEING FEARS THE MOST .................DEATH........and...PROBES!
YUGO GIRL>>>>>I DU nott FEARR dose BEEG SPYKEE VIBRATORS on EET thoe!!!---Come to MAMMA--YES!!!
CHARITY CASE>>>>>YIPEE I YOOOO!!! BRING ON THOSE BAD BOYS!!! --YEAH BABY!!!
CIEPHER 5985>>>>>> Uffff!!! ---get me OUT of here! I don't KNOW you two!
STILL CROTCHETY STEVE AUSTIN>>>>THOSE ARE NOT VIBRATORS, you SICK MONKEYS! --- THOSE ARE EXPLOSIVE MACES THAT WILL DETONATE ON THE SLIGHTEST IMPACT.....with....WHATEVER IMPACTS IT!!! ---FEAR THE DEATH PROBE!!! FEAR IT!!
CIEPHER 5985>>>>>>>>>>THAT THING TRAVELS LOW TO THE GROUND ... COULDN'T YOU JUST LEAD THE PROBE TO A BIG HILL OF DIRT SOMEWHERE, SO WHEN IT BUMPS INTO THE HILL WITH THE MACES, IT WILL BLOW ITSELF UP?
EVEN CROTCHETTIER STEVE AUSTIN>>>>>>> ..................cripes........ ................SHUT UP............why didn't I think of that? -------------FFFFFFEAR THE DEATH PROBE!!!!! LOOKIT! -- HERE'S A SCENE WHERE I TRY TO BATTLE IT'S AWESOME POWER...... I JUMP ON IT..............NOW I JUMP OFF...................I JUMP ON IT .............................I JUMP OFF....... I JUMP OOOONNNN.........I JU---
GREENLEE>>>>>>WHAT IS THAT CLAKKITY NOISE coming from that big TANK, SIR?
CROTCHETY STEVE>>>>OH.........IT'S THINKING........thinking about what awesome thing I will do next to try and attack the DEATH PROBE...........it's FEARSOME!!!
RO-BEAU>>>>>>MAY I VENTURE A GUESS that you will be JUMPING DOWN from it next?
STEVE AUSTIN, STILL CROTCHETY>>>>SHUT IT--AND STAND IN THE CORNER, CADET.....WATCH WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, BECAUSE SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE.... IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU......THE HORROR!!! THE HORROR!!!!
back to the film..... Steve is still OOOOOONNN the Death Probe (it IS to be FEARED, REALLY----the PROBE, I MEAN, NOT THE FACT THAT STEVE IS STILL ON IT...just to clear that up) --here comes the part that Steve fears the most..... wait for it..... wait for it.......
STEVE AUSTIN IN FEAR>>>>WATCH ME NOW! --I'M ON THE DEATH PROBE............
sfx of 70's computer THINKING MODE clakkityness..... still thinking....... CLAKKITY CLAKKITY CLIKKITY CLIKKITY.....the sound effect is actually only seconds long..... so I think it was looped a few times .....Damn UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SOUND LIBRARY.......anywya.... THE PROBE SEEMS TO BE DONE THINKING..... AND HERE'S WHAT STEVE FEARS....
STEVE AUSTIN>>>>>>>LOOKIT RIGHT THERE!!! -- THE PROBE HAS A GRABBY HAND THING THAT A STAGEHAND OFFSCREEN IS USING TO POKE AT MY BIONIC ARM! -- OW!!! ---FRIGGIN' A!!
some sparks, $30 effect from the studio bigshots...... THE DEATH PROBE CRUSHED STEVE AUSTIN'S BIONIC ARM!!!! YOW!!!
STEVE, ALMOST IN TEARS>>>>> OH! --THAT DAMN DEATH PROBE!!! MY ARM!!!
STEPHANIEBOT>>>>>>>OH DEAR!!!-- BUT WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET, SIR? ----
STEVE AUSTIN>>>>>JESUS CHRYSLER! -- YOU ROBOTS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HUMANS!!! THAT THING CRUSHED MY RIGHT ARM!!! I WAS SO UPSET!!!
---------I WASN'T ABLE TO MASTURBATE FOR FIVE DAYS UNTIL RUDY GOT IT FIXED!!! HUMAN ANGUISH you STUPID ROBOTS! --AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
CIEPHER 5985>>>>>>once again............I NEEEEED to get OUT of HERE
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---OH, SHE WILL..... THERE'S ONE MORE STUPID GAG I HAVE TO GET TO --'til next.
...From my HEART and from my HAND
WHY don't people understand my intentions?
WHY don't people understand my intentions?
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