The Sparking Wit Podcast - Episode 83 Audio Transcript

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The Sparking Wit Podcast - Episode 83 Audio Transcript

Post by petey » Wed Sep 09, 2020 2:41 pm

START

Trevor: Hey, this is Trevor, sitting next to me is my lovely robot-wife Emily and you're listening to episode 83 of the Sparking Wit podcast.
Before we start, for those of you new to the show, we do talk about mature subjects with mature language in a rarely mature way, so please don't listen around your kids, around your coworkers, or around an open flame.

<theme plays>

Trevor: Today we are going to be going over setting up audio recording on a fembot chassis, taking some viewer email questions about gifts and travel, then finishing by interviewing professional escort Penelope Vandiver, who has been a robot woman for 11 years.
So Emily, would you like to explain to everyone why the microphones, headphones and sound board are not plugged into your laptop this week?

Emily: That would be due to the Iced Caramel McMacchiato I spilled all over it two days ago. Obviously a temporary failure in my fascia over adductor pollicis muscle.

Trevor: You had to look that up, didn’t you.

Emily: I absolutely did just before we started recording. Certainly I was not daydreaming about additional synthetic vagina puns and failed to properly grab the slippery cup.

Trevor: Any good ones?

Emily: I was trying to work on something with my makeup compact… since it’s a plastic clamshell.

Trevor: <chuckling> We’ll have to see if one comes up naturally. Emily is still setting everything back up on the new laptop and trying to salvage what parts she can from the old one. But we decided as a quick project, instead of Emily acting as the laptop, we would do an entire gynoid-based podcasting setup and walk you through the steps.
Best of all, it means Emily is doing the Podcast in just her Wonder Woman underoos..

Emily: Oh, Lord. Listeners, they’re grey cotton panties.

Trevor: ...with three or four panels open. Emily, would you like to take it from here?

Emily: Sure. So normally, we have two Bose 31J Microphones and two separate pairs of Bose Angel Wing headphones plugged into a dedicated soundboard. My Laptop is also plugged into the soundboard, and we use that for both recording and for playing any audio files we or the guest needs. When we have a guest, normally Trevor and I share a mic, the guest gets my headphones, and I run a cable from the sound board to the audio input jack beneath panel 1-dash-D behind my left ear. The sound board can handle up to 4 microphones and when we had the band Bent Tungsten on the show we had to find some headphone splitters and borrow some headphones…

Trevor: and the extra mics.

Emily: .. Yes, and the extra mics. Is seven people the most we’ve had on the show at once?

Trevor: We’re not counting that big video call with the $100-level Boosters, right?

Emily: Right, I’m just talking about the people physically in the studio. Although that is a good point that when we have someone call in, I like to plug my phone into the soundboard, so we hear the person through our headphones, and they hear us through the same mics that you’re hearing us from.

Trevor: But the zoom call was just computer audio.

Emily: Right. Special circumstances. Where was I?

Trevor: What’s plugged into the soundboard.

Emily: Right. And that’s a setup my friend Denise helped us out with right from Episode 1, and we’ve had no reason to change, apart from some hardware updates.

Trevor: And moving to a room that has windows to the backyard instead of the front.

Emily: We were probably a little too confident in how successful this podcast would be, and spent more than we should at the start. But thanks to the gang out there, we’re able to make this little endeavor pay for itself.
For this project, we’re going to assume the aspiring fembot podcasters out there are not going to immediately drop 5 figures on their setup. So we’re using me as the soundboard and the laptop. Now, technically, we could use my ears as the microphone, but that creates a wildly unprofessional end product.

Trevor: And this involved a little bit of trial and error. Thanks to Gokul for helping us iron out the issues we were having with the fidelity of our audio files.

Emily: Spoilers, sweetie. The first step is to open up good old panel 2-dash-A for access to your main data bus. For me, and anyone else with an A&D chassis, that’s at the navel. You’re going to need to plug in a standard data translation hub. We have one already that I use for when we’re on vacation and I need to send a data backup over a hard-line connection. It’s an Azerac 9002 UAB hub, with ethernet connectivity and six USB-connections. we bought ours for about 500 bucks, I think a similar model will probably go for about $400 now. Make sure to read the box or description and be sure it’s compatible with your personality matrix language.

Trevor: Most of you machine ladies probably already have one. If you don’t, it’s a really useful investment, especially if you want to do direct mind-input from yourself to an external device.

Emily: Plug it in, and if you haven’t used one before, plug in a thumb drive and try to open up a text file the way you would from your cloud storage, just to be sure it works. The next step is to open up panel 2-H just below your neck and change your vocal output. That’s right, everything you’ve been hearing is not coming through a microphone, it’s the original audio data. Trevor can only hear me because of the headphones. Now, there are software changes you can make to route your voice output directly to the recording software, but it then takes extra steps to undo it later. And just like they say in your manual:
Don’t change your own system settings

Trevor: The 19th rule of chassis acquisition.

Emily: You really go out of your way for those Star Trek references.

Trevor: I’ll have none of your sass. ‘Ferenginar’ was the best Trek series of the last decade.

Emily: As I was saying, we’re going a hardware route here, with a standard auxiliary audio cable and an adapter at the translation hub. $30 total, and you probably have the cable already. Get an adapter with separate microphone in and headphones out connections.
So as you know, there’s a tiny speaker and interface beneath this panel for cases where either the head module is being repaired separately, or just when there are errors with the voice synthesis from the module. The audio out is a backup to the backup, but we’re using that to our benefit today. Beneath the speaker is a little switch that you’ll need to flip to switch the audio from the primary output, your mouth, to the secondary output. Once the auxiliary cable is plugged in, it will override the speaker, so no worries about audio feedback.
Since you’re already going to have your body opened up, go ahead and run a cable from that adapter to the audio input behind your ear.
If you have a human co-host like me or a human guest, you’ll need a microphone. Do not use a gaming headset for this. There are a lot of mid-range options you can get for under $500. I recommend the Shure 1800, which comes with a pop filter.

Trevor: That’s the round thing in front of the microphone that stops the <blows into the microphone> sound.

Emily: ..Headphones are a little less important, just use whatever you have on hand that can connect with usb or via bluetooth if your translation Hub supports it.
The last piece is to plug your phone into the hub. You can indeed use your chassis’ connection to cloud storage, but we want to lighten the load on your chassis processor. Make sure your phone has enough empty space. You can also use an external drive for this, but using your phone will make sharing, uploading and backups easier. It can also act as a third input for additional audio files you may want to listen and react to while you’re recording.
That’s it for the hardware, but now for the software.
As always, only buy software for yourself from a verified source on your manufacturer’s marketplace. Everything you buy is going to be run on your parallel system, so if you haven’t cleaned out old programs and old background processes in a while, now’s a good time to do it.
The first thing you’re going to need is sound mixing and recording software. On the A&D marketplace, there are several good options-- including some free ones-- but you get what you pay for. We use DubBeetz version 7.1, and were able to install a version into me with the same license. For anyone just starting out, try something like UniversalSound.
Regardless of what you use, you’ll want to go through the setup so each input device has its own channel, and each channel saves to a separate file. Later on, you’ll use the software to adjust each track to your preferences to create one final file.
One thing you’ll want to make sure your software has available is live filtering.

Trevor: There are so many times where we hear something funky live and repeat ourselves instead of having to fix things in post or re-record something

Emily: In addition to isolating Trevor’s voice from the hum out of my open panels and all the other background noise, the software right now is cleaning up the audio output to make it sound like it does coming out of my mouth. The original track is, of course, available, but Trevor is hearing what you’re hearing because we have live editing.

Trevor: But there are, fingerquotes, drawbacks.

Emily: Yeah… especially when trying to run a full, laptop version of the software instead of the pared-down onboard-chassis version.

Trevor: I’m certainly not going to complain about you keeping your torso vents open.

Emily: If you don’t want the software to crash in the middle of recording, you’ll want to reallocate some system resources to the onboard computer. Reserve enough to keep your Personality running without errors. After all, you do need that to produce the content.

Trevor: Although you in maintenance mode with your personality off is always popular with the fans.

Emily: Well, umm.. Fine. But we don’t overdo that and it’s always planned.

Trevor: excep-

Emily: Except for the episode with the lubrication test, fine. Can I continue?

Trevor: Yes, dear.

Emily: Shut down anything else you don’t need. So right now my motor control is off. My senses of taste and smell are off. My wifi connection is off...

Trevor: I may take some video of you motionless like this.

Emily: It’s going to look a lot like a photograph.

Trevor: People will be able to tell the difference. Besides, I don’t think you mind too much.

Emily: <soft moan> I.. I leave the tactile sense on, in case I need to restore motor control quickly.

Trevor: Your nipples have been rock hard since you shut down your movement.

Emily: <long moan> That’s how they <electrical distortion> are when exposed. It’s programmed behavior.

Trevor: Sure, we all believe you.

Emily: <soft moan> Don’t make me turn off those sensors

Trevor: Was that a threat or a plea?

Emily: Either.

Trevor: I suppose I can hold off. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a weird pervert fondling an anatomically-correct mannequin.

Emily: Don’t worry. People have 82 episodes of proof you’re a weird pervert. <chuckles>

Trevor: <laughs> Touche

Emily: I think that’s everything about the setup. There are a lot of other great podcasts and videos about what to do with the audio once you have it, so we won’t go any further outside our wheelhouse than we already have.
Only thing I forgot to mention, make sure you have a revert timer set up for all the changes to your settings. That way you won’t get frozen or stuck in case of an error.

Trevor: Unless you have a very trustworthy partner who would never leave his wife as a sexdoll for a few days.

Emily: I don’t know anyone like that.

Trevor: Neither do I. So that means we have about 90 minutes to finish recording.

Emily: 93 and 12 seconds.

Trevor: Thank you. I’m trying to remember the last time I saw you with your motion shut off like this.

Emily: You activated me from a weekly maintenance cycle this morning.

Trevor: I meant when your personality is active, but your body isn’t… I think it would have been a few weeks ago when I tried inviting you to lunch with the rep from Dyson.

Emily: That sounds about right, it would have been the end of the last sprint at work.

Trevor: I will set the scene.
Emily and I work in different buildings, but when I'm eating on the company dime, I like to invite her too. That day I text her and no response. Three texts, no response.
I walk over to her building, up to her floor, and there is nothing but typing and scrambling, except for Emily's little pod of desks. I walk over and she's sitting there, not typing, not moving. None of the six of them are. I lean over and her eyes are open, things are zipping across the screen, but not even a blink. And I see the cord running from her computer to a gap between the buttons in her flannel shirt and I know what's up. Next time I look at her screen there's a little notepad window open with a message telling me to go away.

Emily: It was much more polite than that. It was actually the opposite of this. I was moving system resources to my consciousness simulation. My best explanation for it is that it feels like time is slowing down. So when there's a deadline in 12 hours, it feels like 14 or 15.

Trevor: I should have copped a feel.

Emily: No, you shouldn't have. Work vs. play, dear. It is super disorienting to go in and out of it, and I like walking away from my desk every hour, so it is strictly a 'making a deadline' thing.

Trevor: We did some tech stuff already, so let's go to Q&A?

Emily: Sounds good to me.

Trevor: So as always, these are questions from you the listeners. These are culled from comment sections on the various platforms where you can find the podcast, the Web site sparking wit dot podcast, and our mail address sparking wit at Apollo and Diana dot com. Thank you to our intern Megan for picking out the good ones.

Emily: We love you Megan!

Trevor: Our first question comes from Anne in Alexandria, Virginia.
Dear Emily,
It's been seven months since my three week vacation and being a robot is everything I hoped it would be.
In two weeks, I have to go to a client's office in Nashville. This is going to be my first time in a 'clear identification' state as a gynoid. How would you suggest complying with the law? My bosses aren't going to accept civil disobedience here. Is it in poor taste to emboss my serial number on my forearm?

Emily: Not starting with an easy one, are we?

Trevor: That's your punishment for being the popular one.

Emily: heh.
So first of all, yes, it is in poor taste to make a Holocaust reference like that, especially in a work setting. But I think you already knew that.
As for how to comply, the fact that you will be dressed professionally limits your options. Talk with your HR department if you haven't already, there may already be a company standard. I've heard of companies where they just make you wear a thin spacer between your hand and forearm to make the seam visible.
Trevor and I went to Emerald Con last year, and Washington is another clear ID state. I took my wig off and installed a purple-tinted translucent panel instead.

Trevor: Search ‘Emerald Con’ on the Website and you'll find it. It was a cool look.

Emily: I'm not a fan of Voight laws, but the best way to make them unpopular is to show everyone you are still a normal person, just one made from different elements.

Trevor: And since we are drifting into legal matters, where I can be useful on the show for once, I'll give the speech again.
If an officer asks you to plug a device into your systems, politely decline unless you have an attorney present. If I remember correctly, Tennessee treats unit to unit conversations like vocal conversations, not like text messages, so they can monitor them. Don't send anything to a robot coworker you wouldn’t want the cop to hear. Loading malware to your system, by itself, is only a misdemeanor there, so watch what networks you connect to and outlets you charge from. Actually stealing data or making you do anything is a Felony, but failed attempts aren't.
But don't let me scare you. Nashville is a fun city with great people. But be safe about it.

Emily: I talked to an old friend who now works at Tennessee State, and he said almost all the bars and restaurants are android-friendly. Good luck on the trip!

Trevor: Alright, here’s one from Daveon in Tallahassee Florida.
Dear Emily,
I’ve been seeing this gynoid for a year. She’s been one for almost 3 years now and has a very nice Gynotech chassis. Boooooo

Emily: Booooooo

Trevor: Is it appropriate to throw a surprise party on the anniversary of her activation? Are gynoid parts an appropriate gift, or should I stick to more traditional things like concert tickets, jewelry, perfume, etc.?

You know, I probably could have answered this one.

Emily: Are you sure? You gave me a new anus for our last anniversary.

Trevor: You wanted a new asshole.

Emily: True, but I don’t want you suggesting that he buy his girlfriend new extra-large tits.

Trevor: I wasn’t going to suggest that.
Daveon, allow me to give the standard disclaimer; Every woman is different. But giving a woman parts is a combination of giving her an appliance and giving her clothes. You need to know exactly what she wants and if she absolutely wants it as a gift. I wouldn’t give Emily a new video card for Christmas, even when she was human.

Emily: Trevor likes getting me five small, silly gifts rather than one big gift, and it’s adorable.

Trevor: That’s certainly one way to do it, but again, every woman is different. My suggestion is chocolates. But not normal chocolates, Godiva just came out with a variety formulated for android consumption.

Emily: My taste and smell are close to human, but not exact. I don’t consume much except coffee. But I did try these and they were heavenly. The chemical composition is designed to be easier for the taste sensors in a gynoid’s mouth to detect, and the consistency is extra smooth so it doesn’t offend my sensitive tongue.

Trevor: The larger point is that it’s a gift that shows you love her as a robot woman. You understand she’s not like other girls and are attentive to her different needs. Needs like using that sensitive tongue all the time.

Emily: I should have known you were going to make a crack about that.

Trevor: You would have thought less of me if I hadn’t.

Emily: Also, no surprise parties. Power management is a real thing, don’t oblige her to stand around and mingle with a 10% charge.

Trevor: Want to do another?

Emily: Yeah, let’s do one more.

Trevor: Marilyn from Killarney, Ireland writes
Dear Emily,
I’m taking a trip to Chicago this October. Any travel advice? I haven’t been to the states in 20 years and haven’t taken a big trip since my upload.

Emily: Sure. Flying cargo sucks, spend the extra money and get a seat.

Trevor: <laughs>

Emily: United never did reimburse me for loading me backwards into the plane and screwing up my knees. Anyway. Make sure you have your upload documentation on hand at all times, in addition to your passport. You’ll probably get pulled aside by customs, but just be polite and be prepared to open some panels to show you aren’t smuggling anything inside you.
On the plane, try to power down as much as you can, but don’t power down entirely in case you have some boot issues. If you have a connecting flight, Spend the money and get a quick charge at the airport. O’Hare has a nice quick-charge facility with privacy screens. If you’ve landed and you’re running low on power, don’t try to wait until you can grab another battery from your checked luggage and don’t count on being able to find a wall outlet. .
And when you’re in Chicago, stop at Carmella’s on Clinton St. They have a great tasting menu for artificial taste buds.

Trevor: Anything else?

Emily: I think that’s it. I’m sure if Marilyn reads the comments on the episode she’ll find a lot more tips and recommendations.

<theme plays>

Trevor: Now, let’s bring in our guest for the episode. Her name is Penelope Vandiver and she has been a full-time robot sexdoll for 11 years now. Thanks for waiting, Penelope.

Penny: Please, call me Penny. And it’s no problem, I’m a big fan of the show.

Emily: Are the headphones fine, or would you like a direct connection?

Penny: No, these are fine.

Trevor: So Penny, you’ve been working as a prostitute for the entire time you’ve been a robot.

Penny: More or less, yes. Getting paid for sex.

Trevor: Which is one of the longest periods we’ve heard of, and is why we wanted to have you on the show and chat for a bit.

Penny: It’s my pleasure. I had a short day yesterday and finished my charge early, so the timing was right.

Emily: How many hours do you work a day?

Penny: It really depends. Friday or Saturday it might be a 16 hour day, Tuesdays it might only be 4. Around Christmas and New Year’s it’s just constantly busy. But I try to take at least one day off every two weeks or so.

Trevor: We can come back to that. I wanted to start at the beginning. How old were you when you had your mind uploaded?

Penny: Hoo, let me try to do the math. 32, I think.

Trevor: And like I said before the show, let us know if you’re uncomfortable with a question.

Penny: <laughs> I’ve helped people live out their dirtiest sexual fantasies for over a decade, and have been public about what I am the entire time. If you make me uncomfortable, I’ll be impressed.

Emily: <giggles>

Trevor: Fair enough. So were you a sex worker before becoming a robot?

Penny: Not really. When I was in college, I had a sugar daddy relationship with a Lawyer in his 50s.

Trevor: Can’t trust those guys.

Penny: <chuckles> but I dropped out and he felt less noble about fucking me and paying for things. At least I didn’t drop out with debt.

Emily: Worst thing I ever did with my chassis was calculate the total interest we paid on our student loans.

Trevor: So what did you do to earn a living after that?

Penny: I bounced between retail jobs for a few years, then I wound up as a shipping clerk for a prosthetic fabrication shop. Easy job. It was two hours of work and then being on call to answer phones for seven hours. Plenty of spare time for me to fuck the boss and the cuter coworkers.

Emily: So you must have had a very high libido already before being human.

Penny: Hard to say. If they gave it a number, I don’t remember it. I was rarely interested in monogamy around that time.

Emily: So how did you learn about mind uploading? This would have been only a couple of years after the process was commercialized.

Penny: I started seeing a lot more orders from A&D robotics, they became like 60% of our business. So I was bored one day and looked them up. Fucking dolls had never been one of my kinks, but I went down a rabbit hole and discovered their mind uploading services and testimonials. I think the uploading was a different company at the time.

Trevor: Yeah.

Emily: And it was love at first sight?

Penny: <Laughs> Hardly. They looked waxy, the seams were visible. The eyes didn’t quite look right. I thought you couldn’t pay me enough to live in one of those things.

Emily: So what changed your mind.

Penny: Turns out I was wrong about there not being enough money to make me do it. They had an ad for volunteers for chassis testing. They must have been having trouble getting female volunteers to load themselves into a chassis built for sex.

Emily: Was that A&D’s first sexdoll model?

Penny: No, it definitely wasn’t the first, because I remember the smiling testimonial from a previous sexdoll on the site. Might have been the second version, though.

Trevor: The 2S?

Penny: Maybe, I can’t remember the exact model number, it was two chassis ago.

Emily: So what was the screening process like?

Penny: Not very picky. I had to answer some questions about my sexual history, but mostly they seemed interested in if I’d have a heart attack on the operating table. They told me I’d have to be a test bed in their lab for 36 months. For what they were paying me, it seemed like a steal.

Emily: Did they make you pay any expenses out of that?

Penny: Heh, no. I don’t think they were as adept at screwing people over yet.

Trevor: The opinions of us and our guests do not necessarily represent the opinions of our sponsor and employer the Apollo and Diana Robotics Corporation.

Penny: heh heh. Oops.

Trevor: So how long did the process take?

Penny: From when to when?

Trevor: hmm?

Penny: From what stage to what stage? I know you normally measure the time from entering the facility to exiting the facility, but I was for testing and stayed at the lab.

Emily: Let’s say from entering the facility to your first memory as an operational gynoid.

Penny: ooh, probably six weeks.

Emily: Wow.

Penny: Yeah, I had a little room for myself. I actually had to share it with another volunteer, Dominique. They had us on different schedules so we used the same bed.
The first week it was all passive scans. They shaved my head and showed me anything they could think of.

Trevor: Porn?

Penny: Some, but less than I would have expected. There were interviews too while my brain was being mapped. Start of the second week, they installed the probes into my brain. I had to carry this tiny handbag thing everywhere with wires going from it to the back of my neck. I barely slept at all that week. There were some more physical requests that week. No real sex, but they did make me masturbate regularly. I don’t know if that’s part of the process for everyone, or just me.

Emily: It’s optional now. They can do some things later while you’re out if you’re not comfortable with masturbating while someone is monitoring your brainwaves live.

Trevor: Emily had a hand in her sweatpants the entire time during her mapping.

Emily: Shush

Penny: But yeah, it was a lot of that. A lot of blood tests too. I think that’s for brain chemistry or something.

Emily: It is

Penny: They didn’t actually tell me the date they were going to put me under for the final mapping. It was probably a good thing. I don’t think I would have been able to sleep if I had known. I was going through a normal set of tests, and they told me it was time.

Emily: No fasting?

Penny: They were monitoring my diet, I lost a good 5 pounds, so I don’t think it mattered much. It wasn’t even a different room, I laid down on the exam table and they brought in the knock-you-out doctor.
They had talked about it all before, more than once, but I was still nervous about it. Maybe nervous isn’t the right word, it was more of a light-headed feeling, like i couldn’t believe I was actually going through with this.

Emily: I had a pretty similar feeling.

Penny: I can’t tell you much about what happened in the next three weeks. It was all compiling and building my new mind.

Trevor: And your body?

Penny: I hadn’t seen it in person, assembled, but I had seen the renderings. Blonde, seams, no pubic hair, surprisingly modest tits. Smaller than my current set.

Emily: Are those 1200cc?

Penny: 1100, but high profile.

Trevor: So what was it like waking up the first time as a gynoid?

Penny: They had told me my libido would be higher, and I thought I would be fine, but I wasn't prepared. I might have emptied my external lubricant all at once, if the tank had been full.
I wanted to be fucked with an urgency I hadn't experienced before … and I didn't have my motor control calibrated yet. All those hands touching my body, touching it everywhere, and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even tell them to stop or keep going. I

<electrical distortion noises>

Emily: Sorry, that was me. Resource allocation issue.

Trevor: Do you need me to pour some cold water on you?

Penny: <giggles>

Emily: Ha. Ha. Ha. It’s an intense moment for anyone, and Penny’s seemed extra intense.

Penny: That’s why they needed someone to test. For the early models, the sexual aspect was hit or miss. For some models, intercourse was no more pleasant than giving a handjob, then for some models the sensations were overwhelming. And for some models the aspect bounced between the two.

Emily: That sounds like loads of fun.

Penny: For the next year, that was my life. I lived in the lab and two shifts hooked me up to new hardware and loaded new firmware updates.

Trevor: You had no contact with the outside world?

Penny: I still went on social media, still read the sites I visited before, still texted my sisters and some friends. Every now and then someone would take me home with them, but that’s about it.

Emily: I’m hoping at this point you could talk.

Penny: <laughs> Oh, I was walking and talking within the first hour after activation. But I don’t want to give the impression that I was being passed around like an object. These men - mostly men - were spending all week pleasuring me. I was happy to go home with whomever asked… or whomever won the raffle that week.

Trevor: It does sound like you enjoyed yourself.

Penny: It’s hard to be too angry about being able to climax from giving head. That was a fun early realization. I love the days where they tried to overload me: Toys in all three holes and clamps on my nipples. I think my record was 194 climaxes in one 24 hour period. And of course they fil-

<electrical distortion noises>

Emily: Gah! Sorry!

Trevor: Do I need to adjust you?

Emily: I’m enjoying this so much, though. Thanks again for sharing, Penny.

Penny: Oh, it’s nice to take a stroll down memory lane.

Trevor: Do you think you can control yourself, honey?

Emily: <grunting noises> Fine… Maintenance mode active. Voice control enabled.

Trevor: Emily, suspend creative visualization protocols. Reduce empathetic responses by 75%.

Emily: command acknowledged. Timeout variable required.

Trevor: Sixty minutes.

Emily: Changes applied.

Trevor: Restart personality.

Emily: Rebooting… I don’t know if it’s better, but I think the distortions should stop. We’ll try to edit around this.

Trevor: Nah, our listeners love a little bit of the monotone.

Penny: Oh, I’m sure. Lots of my customers like me in a lower consciousness setting.

Emily: Can we continue with the interview now?

Trevor: OK honey, I promise I will make it up to you later.

Penny: I’ll be happy to help with that. You look absolutely delicious in person.

Emily: We’re getting off track.

Trevor: That’s fair. So Penny, you said that was your first year. What did you do for your other two years working there?

Penny: Not to skip ahead, but I wound up signing a second contract, so I was a test platform for six years.

Trevor: Wow.

Penny: After that first year, they had made substantial progress with sexual feedback in the lab, so it wasn’t necessary to have me there on double-shifts. I got a little apartment and commuted like any other employee, except I was commuting in the first new car I had ever owned.
That was about when they switched from having me test the physical components to having me test the social components. That may not be the best way to put it. How a gynoid feels when having sex itself was in a good spot, now they wanted to help gynoids get sex. Or sexual partners. Or be more sensual, however you want to put it.

Emily: That sentence got away from you.

Penny: Yeah, it did. <laughs> Basically, it was automatically creating muscle memory for robot women. I can’t count the number of times I did the ‘walk across the restaurant and sit in front of your date’ routine. All sorts of permutations of what type of dress and shoes i was wearing, what part of my body he was looking at, how long a distance I had to walk… and then over and over again with little adjustments to my hips, my stride, my face.

Trevor: Sounds more dull than cumming 150 times a day.

Penny: OK, so it wasn’t just walking across the room or along the beach. I also watched tons of videos of strippers and helped them turn that into something a gynoid could use. And then there’s the fine art of masturbating for someone else’s entertainment. So I only dropped to cumming 90 times a day <laughs>.

Trevor: <laughs>

Penny: And yes, I also practiced and mapped sexual positions. They had a few male robots they rotated in, and sometimes the researchers got in on the fun.

Trevor: I know I would.

Penny: So if you ever wondered how Emily got so good at sex after becoming a robot, now you know. <laughs>

Emily: Trevor and I discussed which sexual subroutines to install before my upload.

Penny: … Yeah. Researchers started fucking me, then men in other departments wanted to fuck me, and then suppliers wanted to fuck me. Or the someone in-house wanted to the suppliers to fuck me. I’m a sexdoll, so I was happy to do it. After that it was a natural evolution to doing it for money. When I signed the contract, it didn’t explicitly say anything about forbidding or requiring turning tricks. But I had been having sex nonstop for two years with and in front of near-strangers. And if they were going to pay me extra, might as well.

Trevor: What was your chassis like at this point?

Penny: Improved. The seams were still there, but they were thin enough that you couldn’t see them in a dim room, or from across a lit room. They fixed up my face a little bit. My human face and original robot face had thinner lips and more of a square chin. The longer you’re a gynoid, the less attached you are to how you looked as a human, you know?

Emily: I was never that attached, but I was going from 50 years old to 20. Image continuity was a moot point.

Trevor: But we did discuss those changes together. So was it a red-light district thing, or a call-girl situation? How were customers selected?

Penny: I admit, I was still worried about someone abducting me or breaking me or something along those lines, so I did insist on a background check, proper ID, some sort of security, that sort of thing. And I had to review them personally. But A&D did a good job, I think there was just one guy where I said ‘no thank you’.
By the end of year three, I was in a nice routine of seeing clients Thursday through Saturday night, having Sunday for myself, and working in the lab Monday through Wednesday. And the data I got from clients was added to the data collected in the lab.

Trevor: So whose idea was it to run it all back for another three years?

Penny: I guess technically it was A&D who made the offer first. Or they made the offer to have me apply, it’s a little hazy.

Trevor: Was it a near decision?

Penny: We did have some discussions. They were interested in keeping me around, and since they didn’t have to go through the expense of uploading my brain and building my personality, it was going to cost them less than getting a new volunteer.
So I got them to guarantee 4 full nights a week for prostitution and give me an 80/20 cut of the proceeds. Plus a new chassis, and some core personality editing.

Trevor: Really? Even now that’s a bit risky.

Penny: Yeah, maybe it was stupid, but I was really happy with my new life and my new friends. I kind of knew by then that I wasn’t going to go back to a normal life. And knowing that I was going to be a sextoy forever, I decided I should lean into it, if only for my own sanity.

Emily: You were really happy, but you needed to keep sane?

Penny: Poor choice of words, maybe. But I was feeling insecure about the things I wasn’t doing. Every now and then I’d join another woman in a threesome with a man, but I wasn’t really into girls. I leaned submissive, but wasn’t deeply into it. There were still a few sex acts that I’d do, but not enjoy.

Trevor: You didn’t just consider some temporary programming for those clients?

Penny: It’s not the same. Even when you’re seeing a dozen men a day, that’s a lot of downtime, especially when you don’t really sleep anymore. I wanted to remember those things fondly, look forward to doing them again. I didn’t want to feel like a woman pretending to be a sexdoll, you know?

Trevor: So you don’t feel like a woman anymore?

Penny: I’m not a philosopher. I feel like the best version of myself, how about that?

Trevor: Fine by me. It’s not just one kind of person becoming a gynoid. Can you describe what that process is like?

Penny: I wish there was a better story, but my personality was offline while they edited it. I went into the lab and 4 hours later I woke up a new woman. But I immediately felt less tense. It’s like before it was always in the back of my mind that I might run into a situation where I’d have to fake enjoyment or come up with a pleasing excuse to avoid something, and now that wasn’t there.
I had a regular customer say he could tell the difference. I think he said something along the lines of that I didn’t look like I was trying to please him any more. I looked like I knew I was going to please him. Whether that was the editing, no longer worrying about renewing the contract, or just him trying to be nice, I can’t tell.

Trevor: So, if you don’t mind me asking, between natural decay and the editing, how much of you is the original programming?

Penny: At my last maintenance session it was 62%.

Trevor: Wow

Emily: That’s very low, even for a unit your age.

Penny: It’s not a big deal, you just have to plan for it. I have my assets in an S corporation shared with the other gynoids in my building, so my life won’t change much when that number gets below 50.

Trevor: As much as I’d like to discuss artificial personhood law, I can almost hear our listeners finding something else to listen to.

Penny: <laughs> I get it. And I’m certainly not an expert on it. But I’m also getting a little ahead of myself.

Trevor: So now that you were a more confident sexdoll, did they put you through different tests during your second contract.

Penny: Not really. It was the same testing and attenuation of autonomic motion.

Emily: Big words.

Penny: I know six big words, I use them when i can <giggle>
The big changes were outside the lab. I built up a larger clientele, saved more money, got shown off to some C-suite executives at A&D. It was a very rewarding experience.

Trevor: So did you sign up for a third contract?

Penny: No, at that point it didn’t make much sense financially. And they were doing some testing with customizable personality modules that with my existing level of editing, I wasn’t really able to do.

Emily: Can you explain those to the audience?

Penny: Oh. Sure. The best way I can describe them is intense method acting. Your partner tells you the parameters of the character they’d like you to play, you ask them some additional questions to fill in the blanks, and the program helps you build a personality overlaid on top of your own that matches what’s desired. I’ve seen it, and it’s very convincing, but the bot performing has enough control to come out of it if there’s a dangerous situation. And you’re getting the authentic emotional response that your character would feel.

Trevor: So it’s safer than a traditional overlay?

Penny: Absolutely, and much easier to change so it’s not always ‘co-ed fucking her way to an A on her history final.’ You can have that basic character, then run her performing the initial seduction of the professor instead. Run her at a party. Run her coming back for more after the semester because it was just so good the first time. Lots of options.

Trevor: Fans will remember episode 25 where Emily tried out ‘naughty personal assistant’ for me.

Emily: The only time I tried one of those overlays. I had system slowdowns for days trying to get myself thinking straight again.

Trevor: So what did you do after that second contract was up?

Penny: Well, for a few months there I just took customers in my apartment the way I had been doing before, I just did it 6 or 7 days a week. OK, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. I had to do more marketing since A&D wasn’t referring folks to me anymore. So I would pick up men at clubs, do a brothel shift or two, expand my circle of potential customers.
But I was talking with some of my friends and for some reason we were talking about money. Gretchen did the math and we had enough in savings for a down payment on our own building.

Trevor: Holy cow.

Penny: I know! So we agreed on this place north of downtown on Clark St, 5 story building, and dumped a bunch of money into making it perfect for the seven of us to use for customers. Had a special private elevator installed for our floors of the building, blocked off some staircase entrances so no one could sneak in, and now anyone on floors 1-3 would never know what we use floors 4-5 for.

Trevor: You probably make more on rent than you do on prostitution.

Penny: Maybe, but rent is much less fun.

Trevor: <laughs>

Penny: Gretchen handles most of the finances now. She was in banking before she was a sextoy. Still, I feel bad about her having to spend afternoons on that boring shit, so I eat her out whenever she likes.

Trevor: You’d probably do that even if she wasn’t handling your money.

Penny <laughs> Probably true. But that’s where I am now. I love masturbating while staring out the window in the morning, thinking about how lucky I am.

Emily: So this is your third chassis?

Penny: Oh, um, yeah I got it about two years ago. The flexibility is sooo much better now.

Trevor: For those of you listening, Penny has an ankle behind her ear now. Very smooth motion.

Penny: Thank you.

Emily: And is that a heavy-duty vaginal assembly?

Penny: No, it’s one of the luxury Dyson models

Emily and Trevor: Boooooooo

Penny: <laughs> sorry, I forgot we weren’t supposed to mention other manufacturers. We have a full-time technician on staff, so repairs are quick. I make more money with a premium cunt than I spend on additional repair and replacement.

Emily: You’re leaking a bit.

Penny: Oh? Yes. <giggles> These workout pants do wick away the moisture. And I get a bit excited talking about this stuff. Mind if I dry them out?

Trevor: Have a pantsless sexdoll in my office? That sounds just awful.

Emily: He’s being sarcastic. Do what you need to do.

Penny: Thanks. <pause> That’s better.

Trevor: The carpet doesn’t match the drapes.

Penny: Oh, yes. After this I have a full night with a client, and he likes the very dark bush with the light brown hair on my head. As if hair dye is the most artificial thing about me.

Trevor: <laughs>

Emily: Were you going to be wearing workout gear to your date?

Penny: No, I have a nice long black dress back at my place I’m going to wear, but swapping parts takes a little longer.

Emily: So you really don’t need to dry out your pants.

Penny: <pause> darn, you got me. I just couldn’t come on the show and not mmmmm pleasure myself a little bit for everyone’s enjoyment.

Trevor: 20 minutes a bit too long between climaxes?

Penny: Oh, hush. On my days off I usually only masturbate once in the morning and that’s it.

Emily: I thought you liked sex.

Penny: I love it, but it’s also work. Mmm. And going without for a day gives me perspective. It makes me a better sexdoll to remember my clients aren’t having nearly as much sex as me. Plus I get a huge release once I finally climax again.

Trevor: We may need to shoot some video later for the Web site, you obviously know what you’re doing.

Penny: Emily, would you mind if your husband examined me? For your listeners’ benefit, of course.

Emily: It’s fine.

Trevor: No one asked me, but I will make this sacrifice for the listeners.

Penny: It’s third party confirmation about build quality. Scoot over and dive in.

Trevor: ok… I’m not an engineer, but I can already feel a difference in the wetness. It feels more even.

Penny: mmmmmm yeah that’s the. That’s the micropores in the walls. They’re part of the casting of the synthetic flesh rather than installed after the fact. They’re thinner and there are 300% more of them than in a standard vagina. Emily probably has most of her moisture coming out from just past the labia.

Trevor: I will neither confirm nor deny.

Emily: It’s true.

Trevor: So much for being polite about my wife’s pussy.

Penny: mmmm. Go deeper, sir… Trevor.

Trevor: aye aye.

Penny: <heavy breathing> A normal vagina has rings to adjust tightness in several zones. My vagina has independent constriction in a larger number of zones.

Trevor: Wow, it’s like you’re licking my finger tips.

Penny: And reading your fingerprints.

Trevor: Seriously?

Penny: <heavy breathing> Not really <giggles>

Trevor: Very funny. Oh, I can tell it’s much closer to a stroking sensation than Emily’s pussy. As much as I love my wife’s nether regions, you can tell something is happening in a sequence. This is much more like there’s something behind the vaginal wall applying pressure and moving along my fingers.

Penny: Go a little deeper and to the right. 1 o’clock.

Trevor: So even an overall sensitive component like this has a G-spot?

Penny: aaaa ah ah ooooo <heavy breathing> It does.

Trevor: I may need to stop before we get any deeper into pornographic territory.

Penny: Tease.

Trevor: When on air.
We mentioned what happens on days off, but what’s a normal day like for you?

Penny: Weekend or weekday?

Trevor: Let’s say Saturday.

Penny: So Friday night I’m normally working until 4, another hour of cleaning and maintenance, then up at 10 after charging. I’ll rub out a quick one then spend an hour on e-mails and checking my appointments in case anyone has canceled.

Emily: You handle your own appointments?

Penny: Yeah, we tried centralizing it, but clients didn’t like it and the dolls didn’t like someone else making those decisions about who gets what appointment slot. Generally I’ll have one or two cancellations and make a few calls to work in another appointment. If that doesn’t work, a message on social media will normally fill the spot.
I book by the hour, minus the last ten minutes, so 50 minutes or 110 minutes or you get the idea. So I’m taking appointments all afternoon, then at about 6 I go in for a quick cleaning and maintenance check. Most Saturdays there will be someone who wants a charming dining companion so I get dressed up and have them pick me up downstairs.

Trevor: What do you bring with you?

Penny: I dunno. Extra makeup, dermal repair kit. Spare battery boost, what you’d find in any woman’s purse.

Trevor: <laughs>

Penny: So normally I give some head in the town car and try to toss in some hastily researched items about the opera we’re seeing into conversation. Then it’s dinner, sometimes a quick fuck in the bathroom, then a ride home and some more enthusiastic fucking in their hotel room. I’m normally out of there and back at my place by midnight.

Trevor: Do you eat anything at Dinner?

Penny: Umm, Depends on the client. Usually I just have some wine.

Trevor: Do you run an inebriation program?

Penny: excuse me?

Emily: Are you programmed to get a buzz off the wine?

Penny: oh! <laughs> no, I was never a fan of altered states like that.

Emily: You edited your brain.

Penny: Eh, I reserve the right to be contradictory

Trevor: Moving along. More cleaning and maintenance after that?

Penny: No, that’s generally light enough work that I do my normal wash and scrub then go on to more appointments. Generally late at night the clients get a little more aggressive, but I’m always clear that if they show up staggering drunk they’re walking back out the door, by force if necessary.

Trevor: You remove them?

Penny: Oh, not me. Otto, one of the sexdolls on the floor, is 2 meters tall and reinforced like he’s going into a war zone. Maybe once a week he has to step away from a client to handle someone. And once they see him, the fight goes right out of them.
So I do the full range of services until about 4, then I go to maintenance for a deep clean, a skin integrity check, and a quick motor control check. If something needs to be replaced it’s usually one of the fine muscles in my face or fingers, but that’s normally a 10-minute fix.
Then I go back to my room for recharging, my logs are uploaded to the server, and I go through a memory integration procedure.

Emily: You mean sleep and dream.

Penny: Yeah, don’t you?

Emily: Of course I do, but I wanted it to be clear to the audience.

Trevor: So what else are you working on? Anything long-term?

Penny: That’s one of the reasons I stopped by. My partners and I don’t spend a lot of money on ourselves in the great scheme of things. The loan for our building is paid off and we have money to invest back into the business. But there are only so many toys and so many creature comforts we can buy to improve the customer experience.

Trevor: That's a good problem to have.

Penny: Indeed. That’s why we’re looking to recruit a woman to become a new sexdoll and part of our corporation.

Trevor: Oh wow, not bringing in an existing sexdoll?

Penny: That’s right. There are some legal reasons, but all of us love the life that becoming a gynoid whore has granted us. That initial down payment on the upload and the chassis is one of the biggest barriers between people and their dreams. If we have the funds to tear down that barrier, even if it’s only for one or two people, we consider it a big win.

Emily: That’s a very noble spin on it.

Trevor: So how are you going about this recruiting?

Penny: We have a Web site set up, can you put the link in the file’s description and metadata?

Emily: Yes.

Penny: So you can go to the Web site, upload text, images and video, and give a brief explanation of why you’d make an excellent sexdoll and partner in our little business. When does this episode get released?

Emily: 24th.

Penny: Ehhh, I think I can convince the other partners to leave submissions open until the 7th instead of the 31st. We don’t have an urgent need for additional capacity, but we also don’t want to let this linger. If you caught this late, it’s entirely possible we’ll do this again, so still check the Web site.

Trevor: What exactly are you looking for in a candidate?

Penny: Beside someone who enjoys sex?

Trevor: <laughs>

Penny: I can’t speak for everyone making the decision, but I’m looking for someone flexible… mentally and emotionally flexible.

Trevor: Beat me to it.

Penny: Not just when it comes to their behavior with customers, but they’re also going to be expected to work with the current ownership group to keep the lights on. Someone with the confidence to present new ideas and the humility to accept that those of us who have been around longer may know what we’re talking about.

Emily: Degree or training certificates required?

Penny: No, I think on-the-job training is going to be sufficient.

Trevor: Have you done something like this before?

Penny: No, this is the first time. I’ve never done a job interview before. I’m a little nervous, but I think it will be fun. I think two of the other dolls besides Gretchen have done interviews before, just not for this.

Trevor: It sounds like an entertaining process. We’d love to hear how it goes, and maybe interview the winner.

Penny: I’ll bring up the idea, sure.

Emily: Any last thoughts before we wrap up?

Penny: Ummmm, being sexy and horny doesn’t mean you’re dumb?

Emily: Amen

Penny: Thanks for having me on the show, guys.

Trevor: Our pleasure.

Emily: And I would love to talk more once I’m back to normal.

Penny: <giggle> sounds good to me.

<theme plays>

Trevor: That’s all we have for you today. Thanks once again to all of you who sent in questions. Anne, Daveon, Marilyn we’ll all be sending you some of our merch in the mail. And of course a big thanks to Penny Vandiver for the great interview. Please leave a comment or an upvote on whatever platform you’re using to download or listen to the podcast. You can visit the Web site sparking wit dot podcast for some exclusive additional content including pictures of Emily and Penny from this recording session. You can also join Emily’s Chassisfans page at Emily engineer bot for some more intimate photos. Emily, any words to close us out?

Emily: Next time we have a sexdoll on the podcast, we’re not using me as the recording device.

END

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Re: The Sparking Wit Podcast - Episode 83 Audio Transcript

Post by Kishin » Wed Sep 09, 2020 4:09 pm

Excellent. :applause:
"Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today. But the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all." - Isaac Asimov

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Re: The Sparking Wit Podcast - Episode 83 Audio Transcript

Post by 1001011001 » Wed Sep 09, 2020 6:27 pm

Gynoids should never take a recharge at an airport. Those charging booths are full of malware that can ruin your day, especially if a rootkit is uploaded into you.

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Re: The Sparking Wit Podcast - Episode 83 Audio Transcript

Post by inky 2 » Wed Sep 09, 2020 7:30 pm

Fantastic I loved every word of it, great way to present a story

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Re: The Sparking Wit Podcast - Episode 83 Audio Transcript

Post by BA2 » Thu Sep 10, 2020 11:34 am

Outstanding and excellent!

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