I’m Just a Luxury Appliance Fox but the Locals Think I’m a Legendary Support Class EP 02

[RoxxyRobofox]

…

Master Malachite stroked his pointed chin. “If your desire is to learn more of our world, my suggestion is to start heading north. You’ll find a city named Arkenspire. Much larger than this one, and many facilities for instruction and learning.”

Lexa nodded in acknowledgement. “Understood. I appreciate your assistance.”

Sage looped her arm around Lexa’s shoulder, a gesture the robot tolerated with indifference.

“I’m goin’ with her! We still don’t like, know what she is. Also she’s pretty vapid when it comes to people.”

Lexa turned her head towards Sage and stared silently for a moment. She had an entire database filled with protocols for appeasing, pleasing and entertaining organics. It made little logical sense to her to be considered ‘vapid when it comes to people’.

However, if Lexa tried to defend herself, she calculated a high chance Sage would want to argue about it. And starting an argument in front of Malachite would be untoward.

“Very well.” Malachite gestures with a sway of his sleeve. “Lexa has proven adept at protecting you. I will allow this excursion.”

“Nice!” Sage grinned widely at Lexa. “You’re trapped with me! Ehehehehe.”

“Acknowledged.”

Lexa bowed, and Sage hugged Malachite goodbye. But just as they turned to leave, Malachite’s eyes flashed with a rousing of fire.

Darkness, ash and flame passed through his mind. An intrusive and destructive thought, unbidden.

"One moment." He approached Sage and handed her a bag of gold.

"On your journey, you will find a merchant. They will have a magma horn. Acquire it."

Sage stared at the bag for a moment, and then nodded as a look of seriousness overcame her features., Lexa, however, tilted her head.

"How can you be certain?"

Sage snapped at Lexa, stomping her foot. "Master is a really talented clairvoyant, remember?"

Lexa did remember, but she still questioned the validity of the claim. Being able to arbitrarily predict things without a computer and a lot of relevant data was just not something she expected an organic being to be able to do.

But then again, before yesterday, magic and elves weren’t real and now a magical elf is fastening herself to Lexa’s mission unbidden.

She did not need to be clairvoyant to predict that would complicate her mission.

…

They left Winterbreak and headed north, deeper inland and towards Arkenspire. It was a good day with a clear, blue sky and cool winds cutting the dry, subtle heat of Spring.

“So, like. You’re a construct.” Sage says.

“Classified.”

Sage’s blonde brows furrowed. “But I saw it. I literally saw it. Who made you?”

“Classified.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Classified.”

“Ugh! Classified, classified classifiiiiiied. Do you realize how annoying it is when you just admit you’re hiding things from me?”

Lexa continued to march. Perfect, swaying hips and an unblinking gaze set on the horizon. “It is the truth.”

“Okay, well. Sometimes the truth kinda sucks. Sometimes you should just make stuff up.”

Lexa looked towards Sage. “Are you instructing me to engage in dissimulation?”

“Uh, no.” Sage rolled her eyes. “I’m saying you need to lie to people.”

Smile-and-nod protocols once again doing the work. Thank you, smile-and-nod protocols.

“Look, if you have a good cover story, less people will ask you annoying questions.”

“Less annoying questions would be an optimal outcome.”


…

The two of them had entered a patch of woodland. The packed dirt road lazily wound through loose trees.

And then, before them, a scene of destruction.

“Woah.” Sage slowly approached the overturned carriage. Lexa calmly noted several ashen stains on the ground. Humanoid in shape. Felled by impressive force. No organic tissue remains.

“Merchants?” Lexa asked. She next headed towards an intricate treasure chest that looked to have been ripped open by a massive claw.

“Mmmmh. No. Carriage is too fancy. And there’s just that one box.” Sage investigated the ornate chest next. She blinked once and her eyes briefly illuminated. “They were trying to ship something powerful. There’s preservation runes on the inside of this thing.”

“Robbed by bandits, then.” Lexa made an internal note.

“Bandits don’t home in on magic items and turn people to ash.”

“What does?”

Just then, a massive rush of wind rustled the trees. There was a horrifying screech, and the shadow of a massive, winged beast flew overhead with immense speed.

Sage looked up, shielding her eyes from the sun. A panicked sweat dripped down her neck.

“Dragons do.”

Lexa silently revised her internal notes.

…

As they left the forest and hit open air, it was Sage’s turn to catch incessant questioning.

“How common are dragons?” Lexa asked.

“Is it magic that allows them to fly with an insufficient wing-to-body mass ratio?” Lexa asked.

“How do they breathe fire? Is it a chemical reaction or magical in origin?” Lexa asked.

Sage smiled wearily and stared at the ground as they walked. She would be thankful for the next distraction, and fortunately, they wouldn’t have to wait long for it.


A massive green hill, surrounded by crates, rose up off the side of the road. It was surrounded by wagons filled with crates and barrels. Grazing horned animals rested nearby.

“Oh! Is that a…” Sage ran towards the hill.

As she did, the hill stirred. Massive, simplistic stone arms rose up from upturned dirt. The creature rose to a full height that dwarfed everything around it. A headless humanoid rock body covered in thick grass, with beady black eyes set in its chest.

“A hill giant! An actual hill giant!” Sage looked up at the gigantic creature and waved a hand in greeting as Lexa stayed back, watching the entity.

“Hey! Are you a merchant? Is this your stuff?”

The hill giant was quiet for many seconds. And then it gave a slow, rumbling… “Mmmmmmyussssssss.”

Lexa crossed her arms. “...Would you happen to have a magma horn?”

The hill giant said nothing. It simply pointed out a box on one of the carts.

Sage quickly ran over and opened a simple wooden box. “Woah.” She lifted the magma horn out in both hands. It was curling, pitch black, and glowing with flaming veins. She set the bag of coin that she was given in the box. The giant seemed content.

“Excuse me.” Lexa amplified her voice by turning up the volume as she addressed the hill giant. “Do you not need to count the coin? How do you determine if a transaction is satisfactory?”

“Sssssssssmelllllll.” The giant said slowly, in that gravelly, rumbling voice. “Goooold. Smells like enoughhhhhhh.”

“...”

“Youuuuuuu. Smell strange. Mmmmmmetal. But. Unknoooown to my noseeeeee.”

Sage smirked. “Man, it feels like everything in TerraZora can tell you’re a weirdo.”

Lexa canted her head. “TerraZora. That is the name of this world?”

Sage gave Lexa a thumbs up.


…

Lexa had wanted to ask the giant more questions, but apparently interacting with “littles” was tiring for a large and ponderous creature. She would have to get her data elsewhere; Sage forcibly dragged her off mid-interrogation.


As the sun started to set, Sage and Lexa made camp by an open, clear lake.

“So, that giant said you’re made of weird metals.” Sage slowly turned a roasting mushroom skewer over the open flame of the campfire.

“My alloys are standard where I am from.” Lexa sat across from Sage. Her eyes glowed more intensely as it darkened around them.

“Your creator must have been some kind of genius.”

“The identities of my creators are classified. However, I can disclose that I did not have a single creator. I was designed by committee and produced in a factory.”

“Factory…?”

Lexa thought for a moment. “It is much like a workshop, but the craftsmen there all perform one step of creating an item, with the intent to efficiently produce one product over and over.”

Sage’s brows rose. “So you’re being made in bulk? There’s a lot of Lexas?”

“There are a lot of Luxury Appliance Fox units. Based on the most recent data, I calculate that I am a fairly popular product.”

“...Huh. I see.”

Lexa’s social protocols caught onto Sage’s discomfort. “Is something the matter?”

Sage shook her head. “No! No, it’s fine. But it IS late. I think I’ll sleep.”

With that, Sage headed towards the tent. Lexa watched her walk away for a moment, and then began the night watch in silence.


The next day, they arrive at Arkenspire.